Red Riding Hood

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke

[rating:1/5]

The werewolf. The love triangle. The woodland setting. Catherine Hardwicke in the director’s chair. Red Riding Hood is only a few sparkly vampires short of a Twilight sequel, but ultimately this rehashed fairy-tale is just Grimm.

Protagonist Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is caught between her love of woodcutting badboy Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) and her impending arranged marriage to nice guy Henry (Max Irons). When her sister is killed by a werewolf which terrorizes their inexplicably American medieval village, a failed attempt is made to kill it, and witch-hunting priest Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) is brought in to deal with the problem. When Father Solomon announces that the werewolf could be any one of them, suspicion runs throughout the entire village.

Not the most original premise perhaps, but it is the execution which makes Red Riding Hood a truly sub-par film. Fernandez and Irons are as unconvincing and wooden as the script. Scowling Fernandez in particular exhibits the emotional range of a plastic Action Man figure and about the same variety of facial expressions. Only Gary Oldman, in the role of the Inquisitorial priest, puts in a solid performance – recognizing that such a ridiculous script cannot be played with the frowning seriousness which most of the cast bring to their roles.

It is, however, difficult to condemn the actors when faced with the script and direction of Red Riding Hood. The lines are unfailingly corny and riddled with clichés, and the persistent use of extreme close-ups is at best unhelpful. It is difficult to see what Hardwicke hopes to achieve. Whilst the film borders on unintentional self-parody, the real intention occasionally hinted at throughout the film seems to be one of a scary, adult re-telling of a classic fairy-tale. In reality, though, the CGI werewolf lacks both bark and bite, and the entire experience – whilst certainly horrific in one sense – has the fear factor of a sleeping kitten.

The romance, too, is as bland as Goldilocks’ porridge. Whilst the love triangle is in itself a tired formula, it can work. In Red Riding Hood’s romantic scenes, as in almost all aspects of the film, there is a certain lack of intensity. Perhaps the film is simply held back by its 12A certification, but I find it hard to believe that anyone will be particularly moved by the occasional spectacle of surly Fernandez pressing up against Seyfried or by the spectacularly cheesy lines plucked from the Hollywood recycle bin.

If you really want to go and see a mindless supernatural romance, hang on for Twilight; this werewolf thriller is a complete howler.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM8V3cHdSC4