Sidney SusSEX Take The Piss

Sidney Sussex’s bursar claims that revellers use his doorway for a quick shag and a cheeky slash, prompting a complaint to the council.

bursar council drunken behaviour drunks excrement keith willox piss police Sex shag Shit Sidney Sussex territorial army urine

Sidney’s college bursar has prompted a POLICE CRACKDOWN after telling the council that a drink-fuelled crime wave is gripping Cambridge’s City Centre.

Keith Willox, the bursar of Sidney who is ironically in charge of the supply of alcohol in Sidney’s JCR bar, complained to Cambridge councillors that drunken yobs are filling the city’s streets with:

–       Used Condoms

–       Excrement

–       Urine

Willox told councillors that drunks are using the doorways of his college as toilets, and some even have sex there on Friday and Saturday nights, leaving used condoms behind.

His complaints appear to validate an investigation into college discipline conducted by The Tab last term.

He told council chiefs that alcohol-induced chaos regularly causes “acute problems” in Cambridge, especially for families with young children.

Willox claimed that even students suffer due to noisy drunks.

According to Willox, the problem lies within the fact that there are too many boozers in a small area. “This is a cumulative impact zone,” Willox told the council. “The residents feel cumulatively impacted.

The doorway in question

Figures released by the council earlier this month show that in the last four months of 2010 crime rocketed by 40% in the City Centre. There was also an 18% year-on-year rise in crime. Willox singled out Sidney Street, Sussex Street, Hobson Street and King Street as the most affected areas.

Willox also blames early-hours busking and loud cabbies picking up and dropping off clubbers for the noise.

But, Lewis Tan, a first year Trinity student who lives directly above Trinity Road, doesn’t seem too bothered. He told The Tab: “Drunk people coming home sometimes keeps me up, but you get use to it.

“The recycling and delivery lorries are worse, but you’re not going to get rid of those.”

Council chairman Simon Kightley said the reports are “deeply distressing,” and has ordered Cambridge cops to start an immediate crackdown on yobbish behaviour.

Willox’s comments come less than two weeks after The Tab reported on the drunken New Year’s chaos in the City Centre, which required the Territorial Army to step in and clean up out-of-control clubbers.