Tab Cribs: Trinity
Sick of your own modest dwellings? Discover how the other half live with the first in a series of Tab Cribs.
Cambridge University is home to some of the most spectacular historical buildings in the country. For a few, it naturally followed that the rooms they were allocated were gorgeous sets, where Gothic arches reigned and the dark wood cladding the walls was tastefully obscured by delicate oil paintings. The vast majority, however (myself included), were not so lucky.
Live vicariously through The Tab‘s Cribs series: perhaps the first taste of what life could have been like if you had applied to the right College, knew the right people, or got the right results.
TRINITY, 3RD YEAR
Lounge (with round window seat)
Bedroom (complete with sink)
Amy Lambert: How did you get the room?
Trinity: My possession of the room is partly the result of my winning a scholarship, as well as the sudden death of the previous occupant, who plummeted from the turret window. Police initially declared the case suspicious, but the possibility of murder was recently discounted due to lack of evidence.
The perfect spot for some casual reading…
AL: What are the main perks of the room?
T: Perks include a turret, a semi-octagonal window seat sofa, a fireplace with a working electric fire (including actual flames), a floor to ceiling bookshelf and a panoramic sniping position overlooking Bridge Street and Sidney. Size and personal kitchen are also great benefits. Location too is ideal, and highly philosophical; Wittgenstein had his study in the room opposite, which is now occupied by Simon Blackburn.
AL: Has anything scandalous happened here to your knowledge?
T: There’s a rumour going round that I murdered the previous occupant in these very rooms. Obviously I’d never do that. But people talk, don’t they?
A modest kitchen. For one.
AL: How far would you go to get this room?
T: I would kill to get this room.
Where the magic happens?
AL: How would you rate this room, out of ten?
According to Trinity, it seems that the one key tip to secure yourself a perfect domicile is to ensure that it’s previous owner comes to a sticky end. Start renting those shotguns, kids. (Editor’s note – The Tab does not condone assassination in the name of furthering one’s ballot application.)