Tom Davenport’s Strictly Speaking

Students found to be having 'fun' in post-exam period.

Uncertainty and confusion has broken out after a survey commissioned by University authorities revealed that a number of students have not been using the post-exam period to prepare for their courses for their next year or, in the case of finalists, for what the University calls an academic ‘warm-down.’

The survey showed a much higher rate of rebellion than the authorities had expected, with 100% of students failing to meet the study guidelines and 0% succeeding in satisfying the authorities. 

In an official statement, a spokesperson for the authorities said ‘we have reason to believe that a number of students have been using the time after their examinations for relaxing and having fun. Such behaviour is a direct contradiction of University regulations.’ 

It is suspected, though no evidence has yet been gathered as proof, that students have been indulging in a certain amount of the consumption of alcoholic beverages over this period. Eye witness reports indicate that some have even attended late night dance chambers where, it is thought, such substances are readily available behind the ‘bar.’ One student commented ‘yeah man, I mean f**k man, it is just so chilled. Man.’ Others seemed to agree with this statement. 

It is likely that the results will stimulate a rigorous clamp-down on such behaviour next year, perhaps involving the establishment of the much discussed ‘just for fun’ post-exam ‘leisure lectures.’