
Clubbers of the Week: Week Six
Procrastinate a little, you know you want to
Another mediocre week in the world of clubbers. You never fail to disappoint us. Congrats on looking fresh as fuck at King of the Ring, but clearly you used up all your energy preparing for that and forgot to go hard on your other nights out.
Without further ado, we present to you the shittest of the shit. Enjoy.
When somebody asks how your coursework is going
Who's reading this as a form of major procrastination?
Dedicate yourself to the sesh or get the fuck out
Brookes' Biggest Bellends
"Sorry haters, I can't hear you"
"I can't talk right now, Mum. I'm buried in a pile of coursework. Pulling an all-nighter. Love you, night."
Raise your glass if you haven't got a fucking clue what is going on
"Pinkies up, mate, Mummy will probs see this"
Nobody told me Noel Fielding was at MNB this week, what the fuck guys
We all wish we were enjoying our time at uni this much
The bartender is our forever mood
Worked so hard in the gym that he grew two extra arms out of his shoulders to make room for all the gains. Legend.

Police confirm body found in Essex as Brookes student Richard Okorogheye
Richard was reported missing two weeks ago

Meet the freshers behind the new unofficial Oxford Brookes clothing brand
OBU Threads is selling unofficial Brookes hoodies and sweatshirts

Brookes officially adopting ‘Brookes not books’ as its new marketing material
The university has said it is proud of its students’ honesty about their own intelligence

Police ‘increasingly concerned for welfare’ of missing Brookes student
Richard Okorogheye was reported missing last Wednesday

Here are the clubbing nights you won’t want to miss out on this June
The Ox Events are back and better than ever

Brookes student starts a petition calling for lighting to be installed in South Park
The petition already has over 600 signatures

Oxford Brookes University postpones graduation 2021
The university will host online celebrations this year instead

‘I was told to stop being dramatic’: Brookes students’ experiences with uni Wellbeing
‘I finally got a counselling session booked in and they cancelled one minute before it started’

Brookes closes investigation into rugby social where team ‘tried to get girls’ nudes’
The uni said it didn’t have any victims or witnesses to ’substantiate the allegation’

Say It Loud launch campaign for compulsory ‘masculinity’ workshops for male uni students
The campaign wants to tackle toxic masculinity with workshops

Oxford Brookes announces face-to-face teaching will not return until at least 8 March
The teaching timetables have also been confirmed

Here are all your favourite small businesses to support in Oxford right now
We asked for your faves and you didn’t disappoint!

Brookes Union has launched a petition for a no detriment policy
They are also requesting rent refunds

Oxford Brookes announces no face-to-face teaching until at least 14 February
Online teaching will commence on 25 January for most students

Oxford city and the rest of Oxfordshire is heading into Tier 4 on Boxing Day
The county has gone from Tier 2 to Tier 4

Oxford Brookes investigating ‘rugby social where they tried to get girls’ nudes’
Brookes Rugby Union is also investigating

Brookes Rugby Union investigating ‘social where they tried to get girls’ nudes’
The confession was sent in to the Brookes Confession page

Oxford is officially in Tier 2, here’s what it means for students
Pubs are re-opening, but you can only get alcohol with a meal

Quiz: Can you guess the young Netflix star from their childhood photo?
They’ve been fun from an early age

Inside the real life love lives of all the cast of Line of Duty
Just want to know if Steve Arnott is single x

Here’s everything we know about the new series of Drag Race Down Under
Cher is rumoured to make a guest judge appearance

G’day to the queens of the first series of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under
The series drops on iPlayer in less than two weeks and I couldn’t be more excited

QUIZ: Are you more Ned Schneebly or Dewey Finn from School of Rock?
The power of the rent was way hardcore

Kem Cetinay, Munya Chawawa, and Katie Price announced for new Celebrity MasterChef series
Fair play this is a decent cast

Where is The Circle US filmed? Inside the apartment building used for the Netflix series
The apartment rooms look very different in real life

Ok, so what actually is the ‘that girl’ vibe everyone is trying do on TikTok?
It’s the wellness version of Hot Girl Summer

A TikTok hoax calls 24th April ‘national rape day’ – why is women’s safety still a joke?
Turning our worst nightmare into a joke couldn’t be less funny

The government cares more about football than students and I’ve had enough
Private housing has been failing students for years but no one cares

Everyone’s Invited founder: ‘Students need to challenge rape culture in real time’
Soma Sara says the site has received reports of abuse from ‘nearly every’ university

Only a true bookworm could guess these 15 teen books from their descriptions alone
The John Green books were my whole teenage life

Universities ‘strongly encouraged’ to hold graduations this year by universities minister
Michelle Donelan told The Tab she accepts May 17th return news is ‘disappointing’

So, there were a bunch of deleted sex scenes in Bridgerton which we didn’t get to see
The Duke was getting busy with ladies who weren’t Daphne!!!

Here’s how to report any TikTok videos you see about the disturbing April 24th trend
People are allegedly saying sexual assault is legal on this day

These 31 ‘sections of’ memes are so painfully relatable it’s like I made them myself
Every single one speaks to my soul

Who started the viral April 24th ‘national rape day’ hoax? An investigation
TikTok has said it cannot source the original video

Student died after uni rugby initiation involving ‘four hour’ drinking game
The ceremony took place in a garden shed with a tarpaulin covering the floor

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Where are the cast now?
London Tipton and Kevin from Home Alone have had a baby and I’m shook