Clubbers of the Week: Week Six
Procrastinate a little, you know you want to
Another mediocre week in the world of clubbers. You never fail to disappoint us. Congrats on looking fresh as fuck at King of the Ring, but clearly you used up all your energy preparing for that and forgot to go hard on your other nights out.
Without further ado, we present to you the shittest of the shit. Enjoy.
When somebody asks how your coursework is going
Who's reading this as a form of major procrastination?
Dedicate yourself to the sesh or get the fuck out
Brookes' Biggest Bellends
"Sorry haters, I can't hear you"
"I can't talk right now, Mum. I'm buried in a pile of coursework. Pulling an all-nighter. Love you, night."
Raise your glass if you haven't got a fucking clue what is going on
"Pinkies up, mate, Mummy will probs see this"
Nobody told me Noel Fielding was at MNB this week, what the fuck guys
We all wish we were enjoying our time at uni this much
The bartender is our forever mood
Worked so hard in the gym that he grew two extra arms out of his shoulders to make room for all the gains. Legend.
Richard was reported missing two weeks ago
OBU Threads is selling unofficial Brookes hoodies and sweatshirts
The university has said it is proud of its students’ honesty about their own intelligence
Richard Okorogheye was reported missing last Wednesday
The Ox Events are back and better than ever
The electric scooters are next level
The petition already has over 600 signatures
The university will host online celebrations this year instead
‘I finally got a counselling session booked in and they cancelled one minute before it started’
The uni said it didn’t have any victims or witnesses to ’substantiate the allegation’
The campaign wants to tackle toxic masculinity with workshops
The teaching timetables have also been confirmed
They have extended the grace period
We asked for your faves and you didn’t disappoint!
They are also requesting rent refunds
Online teaching will commence on 25 January for most students
The county has gone from Tier 2 to Tier 4
Brookes Rugby Union is also investigating
The confession was sent in to the Brookes Confession page
Pubs are re-opening, but you can only get alcohol with a meal
They’ve been fun from an early age
Just want to know if Steve Arnott is single x
Cher is rumoured to make a guest judge appearance
The series drops on iPlayer in less than two weeks and I couldn’t be more excited
The power of the rent was way hardcore
Fair play this is a decent cast
The apartment rooms look very different in real life
It’s the wellness version of Hot Girl Summer
Turning our worst nightmare into a joke couldn’t be less funny
Private housing has been failing students for years but no one cares
I now believe that true love is real
Soma Sara says the site has received reports of abuse from ‘nearly every’ university
The John Green books were my whole teenage life
Michelle Donelan told The Tab she accepts May 17th return news is ‘disappointing’
The Duke was getting busy with ladies who weren’t Daphne!!!
People are allegedly saying sexual assault is legal on this day
Grab a Josh immediately
Every single one speaks to my soul
TikTok has said it cannot source the original video
The ceremony took place in a garden shed with a tarpaulin covering the floor
London Tipton and Kevin from Home Alone have had a baby and I’m shook