Clubbers of the Week: Week Six
Procrastinate a little, you know you want to
Emily Louise GrayAnother mediocre week in the world of clubbers. You never fail to disappoint us. Congrats on looking fresh as fuck at King of the Ring, but clearly you used up all your energy preparing for that and forgot to go hard on your other nights out.
Without further ado, we present to you the shittest of the shit. Enjoy.
When somebody asks how your coursework is going
Who's reading this as a form of major procrastination?
Dedicate yourself to the sesh or get the fuck out
Brookes' Biggest Bellends
"Sorry haters, I can't hear you"
"I can't talk right now, Mum. I'm buried in a pile of coursework. Pulling an all-nighter. Love you, night."
Raise your glass if you haven't got a fucking clue what is going on
"Pinkies up, mate, Mummy will probs see this"
Nobody told me Noel Fielding was at MNB this week, what the fuck guys
We all wish we were enjoying our time at uni this much
The bartender is our forever mood
Worked so hard in the gym that he grew two extra arms out of his shoulders to make room for all the gains. Legend.
Oxford Brookes to introduce vape rooms in all buildings to stop students vaping in lectures
Francesca EkeEach room will be fitted with a ventilation system to ensure air quality and ‘user comfort’
Teenager dies in hospital after car hits pedestrian outside Oxford Brookes University
Phoebe KowhaiPolice are now appealing for witnesses or any dashcam footage of the incident
Meet the Brookes students who got a private helicopter to see Beyoncé after finishing final exams
Surely the best graduation gift any student has received from their dad
Oxford Brookes implements 11pm curfew on all Cowley Road student house parties
Lily ColdstreamThis comes after a record number of complaints were made to the university
The Tab Brookes is looking for new writers and we want you!
Amy WaitWe are hosting an open meeting on Thursday 23rd March at the Union Bar from 5pm!
Put it in your diary: Here are the dates for when Brookes staff will be striking
Friedi DamwitzThere’s no point in coming back to uni at this rate
Oxford Brookes staff to strike for 18 days before Easter, beginning in just two weeks time
Strikes will begin on February 1st
Temperatures in Oxford were so low last week that it was officially colder than Moscow
It’s electric blanket season for sure
Oxford Brookes student sentenced after they sexually assaulted a man whilst he was asleep
Daniel Wareham will be on the sex offender register for the next 10 years
A Brookes guide to part-time work: Finding your best student job
Emma PettengellSincerely, an overworked third year
This is what your Halloween outfit says about you as a Brookes student
May the most basic outfit win!
Oxford Brookes is officially the seventh most haunted university in the UK
They don’t call it spooky season for nothing
New league table shows Oxford Brookes hasn’t improved in ranking since last year
Still the best uni in Oxford tho x
Johnson from Peep Show is the new Chancellor of Oxford Brookes University
Is that… normal chancelloring?
This is your personality based on your favourite Brookes night out
If your favourite night is Broke Mondays, we need to have a chat
Oxford Brookes campus left without water due to a burst water pipe
The university is providing portable toilets and bottled water for students and staff
The Tab Brookes is looking for new writers and we want YOU!
Come along to our open meeting this Thursday (29th) at the Sports Bar!
Tributes pour in after Brookes graduate dies in helicopter accident on holiday
Jack Fenton was described as ‘the loveliest boy’
Brookes grad died after being hit in tragic helicopter accident on holiday in Greece
Jack’s family have called him ‘the most wonderful boy’
Here’s where else to watch the Outer Banks cast while you wait patiently for season four
Emily SmithFilling the major Pogue shaped hole in my life rn
Everything Natalie and Collins have been up to since their disastrous time on MAFS Australia
Harrison BrocklehurstIf I had to hear about Collins discussing OnlyFans, you do too
Everything Richard Gadd has said about Jessica Gunning’s captivating Baby Reindeer performance
‘It lived and died on Martha and we couldn’t have been luckier’
Okay, so what happens next in the Ellie and Jono cheating saga on MAFS Australia 2024?
Ellie RingJono becomes public enemy number one
The 10 best songs on Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, according to streams
Justice for So High School!!!
Jess reveals she and Callum ‘no longer speak’ after he did something ‘unforgiveable’ to her
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a friend’
Hi Barbie! Meet the student who has written her entire dissertation on the Barbie movie
Not her supervisor’s name being Ken!
Holidays and moving in together: Inside Tom and Molly’s adorable post Love Island life
They’re actually too wholesome
Baby Reindeer’s Jessica Gunning has spoken out about people trying to find the real Martha
‘I think it’s a real, real shame, because it shows that they haven’t watched the show properly’
‘Taylor Swift pub’ The Black Dog staff have spoken out about chaotic week mobbed by Swifties
‘We’ve got a Swift half pint on the menu, which people can get for free if they sing a Taylor lyric’
Kim Kardashian is ‘over’ Taylor Swift feud and ‘thinks Taylor should move on’ after new song
Taylor’s new album features a song called ‘thanK you aIMee’ which is believed to be a massive dig at Kim
From tattoos to moving in together: What are Tori and Jack up to after MAFS Australia 2024?
They’re in their own little bubble
More lies Jack from MAFS Australia has been telling his ex have surfaced and it’s chaos
‘He’s only staying with Tori because he’s backed into a corner’
Ben slams Ellie for being ‘vindictive’ on MAFS and claims she’s with Jono for ‘publicity’
‘She always played the victim’
Cast member Ben claims MAFS Australia 2024 producers mocked and ‘criticised’ his ADHD
‘I didn’t sign up to be taken advantage of through my mental health’
A look inside the wholesome life of Jessica Gunning who carried Baby Reindeer as Martha
I can’t believe she’s not actually Scottish
No ifs, no buts: These are the absolute WORST episodes of Black Mirror ever
Black Mirror episode idea: Me being forced to watch these on loop