Here’s why sorting out your student house is the worst thing you’ll ever do as a Brookes student

£600 a month for a shithole, perfect


If you've been through the student housing process before you'll know that it's an absolute nightmare. Friends become enemies and you'll probably find yourself doing more research on houses than your dissertation.

Choosing who to live with is a horrible experience

Deciding who's living with who can really bring out the evil in people. You may have never seen the shitty side of a person until you have to discuss housing with them.

Finding the 'ideal' group of people to live with is never easy. If you're not quick about it, chances are your so-called 'mates' will have gone behind your back and snaked you for somebody else.

There's no easy way to tell people you don't want to live with them either. They tend not to take it lightly. You'll probably never see them again.

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Moving in with people you aren't too familiar with is a massive risk

Living with people you don't really know is always a risk. Although they may seem fairly normal and hygienic, they probably live like animals in the comfort of their own filth.

They might also be really fucking weird.

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The state of this

It's a miracle if you find a house that isn't completely shit

Possibly the most tedious parts of the housing process. Unfortunately everybody's idea of the 'perfect house' tends to be completely different. We can't stress it enough, people are really weird.

The only important things are location and price. The length of the grass in the garden is irrelevant, and to be honest guys I don't give a shit about what colour the wallpaper is.

When it comes to the nitty gritty, you'll find that the majority of people in your group will suddenly become incompetent and completely useless. Thanks guys, it's not like I've got coursework due too.

Trying to get a house viewing when everyone is free

Arranging a house viewing on a day when everyone is free is pretty much impossible. It's inevitable that at least one person will have some bullshit excuse as to why they can't make it. Unfortunately tea society really isn't a priority.

There will also always be that one arsehole in the group who doesn't attend any viewings. This person has probably tried too hard with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude but will undoubtedly be the first person to complain about the house when you move in. Hypocrite.

Realising you've signed a contract with a useless letting agency

Unfortunately, the celebrations and relief that comes after you've signed your contract come to an end fairly quickly when you find out that your landlord is a corrupt arsehole. Your letting agency are a fucking joke. Have fun getting that broken front door fixed.

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Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favour.