The 12 things you must tick off your Brookes bucket list before you graduate
Complete these asap or you’ll regret it
Many of us are nearing the end of our time at Brookes and it is safe to say, it sucks. There will be no more fighting for a seat in the library, no more snakebites in the sports bar, and no more travelling to the distant lands of Harcourt and Wheatley.
It really is enough to bring a tear to your eye. But the real question is, have you made the most of your time at Brookes?
Here's a list of things you must do before you graduate and if you haven't started, then you better get fucking going.
You must've convinced someone that you go to Uni of Oxford
Brookes students like to bullshit about a lot of things, in particular pretending that they go to Oxford. It's way too tempting not to wind up the amount of gullible people out there. Sneaking into colleges is something Brookes students do on the reg with ease. By the time you graduate from Brookes college in Oxford, it's likely that your blagging skills will be worth putting on the CV after many years of practice.
Visit The Deli on Cowley Road
It's only the most bangin' booze store in Oxford. If you've never paid a visit to The Deli and secured a deal and a half, then you've probably lived in a hole throughout your time here. Let's be honest, Deli is bloody amazing.
If you don't do a pub crawl, then you're an idiot
As students living in Oxford we have a responsibility to fully take in what this city has to offer. What do we want to take in more than our beloved pubs and bars? So why not channel our love into a pub crawl? Ladies and lads, we live in a town where you can get a pint every ten steps in any direction.
There is no better way to drown the depression of lectures and assignments than hitting the town with your buddies, jumping from bar to bar and getting black out drunk. Cowley is ready and waiting for students dressed in golf clothes, to gallivant down it's iconic road.
An early morning takeout is crucial
We all get the munchies after a night out and if you don’t, then you clearly haven't drunk enough. So it's two in the morning, you’re home starving and can barely stand. What do you do? You buy Domino's. Yeah, they’re a bit pricey but you don’t listen to your wallet in this condition – you listen to your stomach.
If the 24-hour Domino's doesn't do it for you, you get yourself on the phone to every Cowley chicken joint and hope for the best. If you haven’t reached this point in your uni career, you have literally failed Brookes.
You have to go to Posh Nosh and Kebab King
Can you really count it a good night out if you didn’t end it with a Posh Nosh or Kebab King? We think not. If you’ve finished a messy night out in PT, there isn't anything better to do than stumble your way over to a portion of cheesy chips. Or, if you’ve enjoyed a banging night out in Atik, end it with a trip to the one and only Kebab King. We promise you, you won’t regret it.
Go to the 'big three' as many times as humanly possible
Anyone who’s anyone at Brookes knows the 'big three' – Atik, Bridge and O2 Academy. Whichever you choose, VKs are what everyone looks forward to every Monday, whether is splashing the cash at MNB or grabbing yourself a one pound VK in Atik. You’ll no doubt be nursing four, ready to strawpedo at any moment, and later chunder all over the horrendous toilets in the club.
Wednesday night is strictly only for Fishies in the O2 Academy, where you feel as little respect for yourself as possible. It’s glorious. You will be smashing the VKs even more than Monday and you couldn't be happier. Or drunker.
Go to PT just to try the Brookes shot
The Purple Turtle shot wall can be intimidating the first time you go in. Dozens of Oxford colleges, each with their own style. You look more, seeing that even Hogwarts has five shots. You panic, wondering if it was a mistake to go to PT as Brookes student.
You finally see the Brookes shot, which is mostly absinthe and we aren't even an Oxford college, but we have been recognised and that it what dreams are made of. When you have this shot, you will finally feel at home in the City of Spires.
At least try to match an Oxford student on Tinder
It’s four am, you’ve just come back from Fishies and you didn’t pull. So, knowing deep down you’re really attractive, you pull out Tinder. You swipe for a few minutes, not getting anything. You run out of likes and briefly consider getting tinder plus. You decide to just go to bed. But just as you do, you get a new match notification.
It’s a Oxford student, just as tired, drunk and lonely as you at. You feel a connection. Then you unmatch them, because fuck Oxford.
Go to a sports society's social
A weird outfit is compulsory here. Remember all of those Halloweens growing up? You have been training for this. Then there is the drinking, these sporty types train hard and party hard. By the end of the night you will have downed more drinks than you can remember and you will definitely regret a few of the pics you see the next day. If you're lucky the event might even make it into a Tab article if things get really out of hand.
It is almost compulsory to waste all of your money in the JHB and Colonnade
We all know Oxford isn't the cheapest place to start with, so you would think that as we already give them all our money and our first born, Brookes would make the snacks cheaper. This is not the case and you will graduate realising that most of your maintenance loan was spent in the Colonnade on Lambrini and over-priced biscuits as a result of pres and all nighters.
Make the accident of sleeping with a rep
By no means are we trying to convince you to do it, but, it can be considered a right of passage into the Brookes culture. They seem charming, they can get you free drinks and normally, not always, they are stupidly good-looking. You may regret it but you may get entry for life. So, if you haven't got down with these dogs, then you won't get a good ol' bone.
Learn to stop saying Brooke's when it is Brookes
Honestly this is the most important. Too many people say Brooke's and it is just so, so wrong. Try to at least pretend that you are literate. Brookes not Brooke's.
You go to uni so at least fucking spell the name right.