How to spot your typical Cheney resident

You definitely took a gap year

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Cheney or Chateaux du Chenay? One of the most popular halls at Brookes, if you didn’t get a place in Cheney, was there any point going to Brookes?

Let’s face it, you’re too posh for Clive, don’t fit in at Crescent and there is no way you would ever be caught at Wheatley.

You took a gap yaaar

“This one time in Burma”, it’s the ultimate conversation starter. If you don’t know what to say in Freshers’ Week, just whip out the old, “when I was volunteering in Tanzania with Hugo and Cags…”

Every pre-drinks starts with a battle of the gap yah stories, whether you skied a little, partied a lot in the Alps or found yourself whilst wearing baggy trousers in South America. Your Insta is full of #throwbackthursdays to when you rode an elephant, went to a full moon party or saw some breath taking views.

Everyone loves Canada Goose

You could be sponsored by them. You have the bomber jacket, the gilet, a few for the ski season and of course your collection is complete with the expedition parka, just incase the heating in Cheney fails. It’s the perfect item of clothing, you can wear it with Adidas trackies, red chinos and even your gap yah trousers.


You would never ever miss a Monday Night Bridge. Your flat, no probably your whole block, would disown you if you didn’t wear your red cap with pride. You only have three years to make the most out of this amazing night, every Monday counts! It doesn’t matter that you spend most of this precious night in the smoking area and the £10 card limit screws you every time. Who would buy all the lollypops and spray all the perfumes with the lady in the loo if you didn’t turn up?


You ski every year without fail. But now you’re at uni you hold a grudge against Brookes for not giving you Feb half term for the family ski trip. Luckily enough the Brookes ski trip gives you the perfect opportunity to get naked in the mountains, dance on the tables and take a new profile pic.

Everyone knows everyone

Thanks to the 98:2 public/state school ratio, everyone knows everyone. The very first thing everyone in Freshers’ Week said to you was, “so what school did you go to”. This was then followed by either “oh nice” if you went to a state school or, “oh you must know Monty, Pertronella and Bartholomew”, if you went to a public school.

Obviously you went to prep school, where you played five instruments and excelled in games, and then at 13 you moved to one of the top private schools in the country which gave you the perfect introduction to Cheney.

What course do you study? Silly question

If you don’t, your best friend studies Real Estate. Your favourite items of clothing include chinos, shirt, signet ring, loafers and of course a cap, as your coursework depends on your smart appearance.

The Sports Bar

The only thing you love more than talking about your gap year, is spending time outside the sports bar. You probably sit outside, wearing your gym leggings drinking jugs of snakebite even though you don’t actually have a Brookes gym membership.

What fine?

Cheney Lane is the best parking at Brookes. Home to the Golf, Merc, Audi and Fiat 500’s, parking on Cheney Lane is a must, it’s so convenient and who cares about raking up £500 worth of fines. What choice did you have?

Life after Cheney

The shame of telling your friends you aren’t living on Divinity Road next year. Div Road is the only location option for next year, mainly because it’s where the best house parties are but you will take Southfield or Bartlemas if you absolutely have to.