Fun, cheap and the best choice: If Brookes were a drink it would be a VK

The VK is the definition of student drinking at Brookes.

Let’s set the scene. It’s Saturday night and you’ve been persuaded to go to Purple Turtle once again. You head to the bar, overdraft looming over your head and you want the cheapest (and best) thing you can. So you go for the VK. I mean, Why would’t you? The VK is cheap, it’s easy to carry and it tastes like you’re getting drunk from fruit juice. It’s the drink of champions. You won’t regret it.

queens of the club

Undoubtedly, people will comment on your choice of drink because you didn’t get the predictable vodka and coke. But let’s be honest, they’re the real losers. They won’t have blue tongues and a constant smile on their face. You can’t dance when you’ve got a glass holding you back and you’ll only piss everyone off by spilling alcohol over their new Adidas trainers. Let’s face it, the VK is the ultimate choice.

This sweet nectar is nostalgic. It reminds you of simpler times, when your parents thought you were at a quiet sleepover the week before your Maths GCSE, but really you were at a house party somewhere fucked off of 8 blue VKs. No cares in the world other than the blue chunder that definitely will have stained your friend’s mum’s bedroom carpet. But the VK isn’t only for 14 year old girls and lightweights, it’s actually the stuff that dreams are made of. When the sugar rush hits you, you’ll be able to dance in Fuzz all night long.

What it lacks in manliness can be made up for by its competitive edge. Arguably, the best thing about the VK is the strawpedo. It’s the ultimate race to be crowned king or queen of pre drinks. Will’s already gone for a nap after a tactical chunder, but someone shouts ‘STRAWPEDOOOOO’ up the stairs and he’s been brought back to life. It’s the ultimate drinking and bonding experience. Oh, and unlike downing shots of tequila, it won’t leave you feeling like someone’s just thrown up in your mouth.

Unlike our Oxford brothers and sisters down the road, we can’t afford to go to Varsity and drink Champagne cocktails on a Wednesday night. But VK’s are so cheap, you can buy three at a time.

They’re the perfect drink to symbolise Brookes: fun, cheap and the best choice.