What your library snack says about you

Sadly, a lot of us spend most of our lives in the library which means we also spend a lot of time eating there too. Crisps, chocolate, an apple – it’s what we need to keep us going. Here’s what your library food says about you:

Two drinks and a Sandwich

You woke up with an awful headache which was unexpected because your plan was to go for one drink and a catch up last night. You got into a fight outside Café Baba and woke up feeling rough. You need a sugary drink to stop the shakes and a plain cheese sandwich on white bread to soak up the alcohol and stop you vomming in the ground floor loos.

Chips from the Union Bar

You’ve endured group meeting after group meeting and the thought of hanging out with them at The Terrace is disgusting. You sneak off to the The Union Bar and order a side of chips and enjoy them on your own on the comfy leather sofas. Ordering chips says you’re a wholesome mummy’s boy that just got paid and is relishing in not cooking for once.

Coffee and Chocolate

It’s 5pm and you just arrived at the library, you had to stop off at the Starbucks outside because they do the fancy cups and your first skinny late was boring. You’re the girl that is taking a ‘slow and steady’ approach to your degree. You had a lie in, a late brunch with the girls then another nap so you’d be in a “better mood to do work”. You treated yourself to some overpriced chocolate in The Forum because it’s the second day of your period and it’s the only thing that can cheer you up while you try to bash out a 2,000-word essay before your early hand in at Harcourt Hell.

Takeaway

Ordering a takeaway to the JHB means you’ve spent the last 30 minutes annoying everyone in The Forum with your horrendous laugh and stories about your weekend in London. You’re wearing a snapback and your name is Ryan. Everyone around you is sighing and giving you shady side-eye but you don’t care. You’ll enjoy your specially made pizza in front of everyone while they cry into their cans of Redbull although you really should just go home.

A Pink Lady apple

You’re wearing your new yoga pants and an Oxford Brookes Uni sweatshirt, you’ve got a big rucksack with all the keyrings you collected on your gap yah dangling off. In one hand is your apple, the other is your hockey stick. Although your intentions are good and you aim to be the hardworking, sporty one with 50+ LinkedIn recommendations, you’re just as bad as the lads and their takeaway. Put on some clothes, stop swinging your sports kit around and for the love of God, stop crunching.

Prosecco 

You’ve just handed in your dissertation after having a two week mit cercs extension and this has been at the bottom of your bag for a month. You pop that sucker open in a booth in The Forum, touch up your eyeliner and head straight out.

Homemade sweet potato mash with feta cheese and spinach

You’re from Cheney and your name is probably Freddie. Your attempt at the 22-days-Vegan challenge failed but you still try to make Instagram-worthy lunches every Monday and Thursday before your two hour session in the library and after the gym with Poppy and Bex.

Monster Munch

You’re a rebel without a cause. You chose the stinkiest, crunchiest snack from The Colonnade shop to piss off all the procrastinators in the basement computer room.

You, are the worst kind of people.