An ode to dressing like a slut on Halloween

Halloween 2k15 is looming, and it’s that time of year again where you have to decide on your outfit.

Do you go as your average slutty cat with black stilettos and eyeliner drawn whiskers, or do you want to roam the streets wearing a full Frankenstein costume? If you’re a girl with a decent pair of legs and any common sense, you’re obviously going to opt for the first one.

There’s a lot of haters who publicise their negativity about girls looking good on Halloween. They’re the boring ones who started the “girls should dress like nuns on October 31^st”  campaign.

Is it coincidental that these are usually up-themselves boys? Probably not. Guys, we know you secretly love all that Lycra and those cheeky devil horns. Suck up to it and stop slut-shaming, you don’t look very attractive in that vampire costume anyway.

Let’s get real about this, you’re not going to pull even a 2/10 if you get to the club covered in bandages or dressed like a pumpkin like you’re at a year seven disco. If you go out looking banging in your nurse outfit you’re bound to get attention, making you feel super good about yourself. Plus, if you all look fit as fuck in your outfits, you’ll have a great cover picture for the next two months until the Christmas jumpers come out.

Obviously, it’s not all about the male attention. If you wear a ridiculously over-sized costume, you’ll end up hot, sweaty and having a shit time. The advantage of little clothing – less to leave in the cloakroom and forget when you leave.

Obviously don’t go out in a bikini and heels, but a short skirt, crop top and a decent pair of heels will set you in good stead for a top night on Halloween. If your body confidence isn’t through the roof (even after 8 double vodka cokes) you can go for the slightly classier outfit – a black dress, heels and some blood on your face.  Simple.

The most obvious point of all, everyone’s doing it. Dressing like Professor Snape won’t make you any better than your flatmate who’s dressing as Wonder Woman. It’s the fundamental point: dressing like a slut doesn’t make you a slut. You might get slight hypothermia on the way to the club, but it will be worth it.