Stop lying to yourself, you’re not clean and neither are your flatmates

Remember being an apprehensive fresher? All those freshly bought pans practically shined with naivety.

Your flatmates happily reassured each other that you were very tidy people. After hearing horror stories of milk left to solidify and table tops covered in a film of stale beer and late night McDonalds, you thought you’d hit the jackpot. 

Two weeks in and the kitchen was covered in a film of a dirt and a smell that wouldn’t shift.

It’s inevitable, it’s just a horrible stage you have to go through in life which tests you to strengths you never knew you had, who knew you could withstand the constant smell of gone-off meat mixed with cheap wine?

You’re still alive though. So eating off a surface which has been smeared in raw chicken can’t be that bad for you, right? What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger has become everyone’s mantra and it’s possibly the only thing keeping us sane.

I’m pretty sure I saw something move

But look on the bright side. It means when deadlines are fast approaching you don’t have to spend a precious five minutes washing up my pans, what’s another pan to add to the pile?

Apparently using the sink as a food disposal bin is normal and so is eating off the table.

Try and get into the mindset of a messy student and embrace the freedom… or clean up. But we know which one you’d rather do.

I bet you loved being a fresher but I know you probably won’t want to relive it.