How to spot a Brookes Private school kid

Everyone knows the transition from secondary school to uni can be a tricky one.

It’s a complete culture shock actually having to cook your own food and fend for yourself in the big bad world, but for one group of people it can be particularly hard – private school kids.

Private schoolers really do have it tough. Don’t think because of their privileged upbringing they have it easy, quite the opposite in fact. For the first time in their lives they have to lower themselves to associate with meagre state schoolers.

But whether you’re secretly suspecting your flatmate of going to private school, or you went to a private school yourself, here are some ways to know for sure.

Clothes

There’s no doubt about it, if it’s not branded/designer, you’re not wearing it! Think Jack Wills, Ralph Lauren, Burberry – the bigger the name the better. You’d never be seen dead in anything from Primark, the mere thought of it gives you the sweats.

Champagne on your nightclub toilet

An absolute must for the whole VIP table. Dressing up in an expensive tux or cocktail dress and heading to Klass on a Thursday is a weekly event and one to be taken seriously.

Speak eloquently

Darling, correct grammar and The Queen’s English are extremely important to you. You would never be caught dropping a ‘t’ or mispronouncing a word and long words that no one else really understands are frequent in your vocabulary – how astute.

You can also probably speak or read some sort of Latin as it was your old school motto or you had to attend daily classes. It’s all about carpe diem rather than YOLO.

prefer the Eastenders omnibus myself…

Food shopping at Waitrose

Simply because why would you go anywhere else? Waitrose or the M&S Food hall are where you go to stock up on caviar and quinoa but if a last minute dash is needed you can just about bring yourself to stoop to Sainsbury’s Taste the Difference or Tesco’s Finest.

Weekend getaways in the Maldives or on Daddy’s yacht

It’s important to top up that natural tan on a weekly basis, as you wouldn’t want to fake it like the rest of us.

Sipping mojitos in the sun on a beautiful white sandy beach or the front of your daddy’s yacht is where you can often be found in your spare time.

Name dropping

One of your favourite things to do, because obviously you’ve met the whole cast of MIC and your Dad is best friends with David Cameron. Monthly shopping dates with Mark Francis are a must.

Sports

You take sports very seriously and are on either the rugby, lacrosse or polo team, and have been your whole life.

You’ve also probably competed at county level and struggled to fit your trophy cabinet in the car to bring with you to uni. You’re also particularly good at shooting, or at least own all the gear to make it look like you do.

You would’ve found it really hard coming to uni and leaving your beloved horse Henry the Third behind. Even if you don’t actually own a pony, you will be best friends with someone who does or taken horse riding lessons your whole life.

Hangover cures

After a well deserved night out, the thought of a kebab truly horrifies you and the next day you can think of nothing worse than eating greasy food.

You would rather go home and whip up a free-range eggs benedict with smoked salmon and pan seared organic asparagus in pesto than even breathe in that grease filled air.

Because why would you not have the finest pesto?