‘Please celebrate responsibly’: Dorset House imposes curfew on post-dissertation celebrations

Killjoy staff at Dorset House accommodation have clamped down on post-dissertation revelry this weekend.

In an email sent out earlier today, Dorset House said they would be “arranging for local police and security to manage the site over the weekend” during their absence, in anticipation of “anti-social student behaviour”.

The staff member who sent the email went on to mollycoddle students, saying: “When I come back on Monday, I do not expect to hear of any noise disturbances or anti-social behaviour!

“If this is the case I will be issuing Administration Fee’s to cover the cost of the external agencies time.”

“When I come back on Monday, I do not hear expect of any noise disturbances or anti social behaviour! Unfortunately if this is the case I will be issuing Administration Fee’s to cover the cost of the external agencies time.”

Alright Mum- we’re only having a couple of friends over.

The email also reminds that an 11pm curfew has been imposed, after which “all parties and noise it to come to an end”.

One resident, who chose to remain anonymous said: “We don’t pay this much to have a curfew”

Residents can be expected to pay up to £187 per week with internet costing an additional £160.