The Brookes struggle: We will never be ‘Uni of’

We might not be quite as intelligent as those from Oxford but we’re only 39th on the league table. That’s not too bad, is it?

We are cursed with not being “Uni of”. It’s not just Brookes either. Bristol, Leeds, Southampton.. we’re all in the same boat. Doomed to be polys, we’re forced to accept that we’ll never be Oxford.

It’s a hard life not being the cleverest people in the city and this is why.

Nights Out

God forbid if you accidentally stumble across a Uni of night out. The difference in atmosphere is monumental. Picture this. You’re in your comfy converse and joni jeans while Oxford students come dressed in suits and ball gowns. I mean, really? I don’t even own anything remotely like a ball gown.

Bridge on a Thursday looks like a slightly seedier version of a Pride and Prejudice ball and meagre Brookes students definitely aren’t going to fit in.

YikYak

Oh, the joys of YikYak. Filled with Oxford students moaning about upcoming essay deadlines and how their steak was a little too rare at dinner. They all like a bit of #brookesbashing every now and then but you’ve got too look on the bright side.

“Oxford do more work in a week than we do in a whole semester” – enough said. Sure, they like to boast about it, but actually it means we’re free to enjoy the freedom of not being Uni of while they’re are being crushed under the pressure of deadlines. Who’s laughing now?

“There’s two University’s in one city?”

Family members can’t quite grasp that there is two University’s in one town. No, Brookes and Oxford University are not linked. Yes, I study in Oxford and no, I’m not clever enough to go to Oxford.

Also -yeah, we know that Uni of has the best buildings in the city. Oxford enjoys breathtaking English Gothic architecture while they study – we get Wheatley.

Student Union

Morgan Freeman graced the halls of the Oxford Union. That is all.

Brookes Union does show films once a week though!

Not. Jealous.

International students don’t understand either

It’s not just relatives that get confused about their being two Universities in one town, it’s international students too. The poor souls come here thinking they’ve arrived at the famous “Oxford University” when actually they’re attending an ex poly which is significantly further down on the league table. Bit of an anti-climax really.

However, I can’t moan too much. If I ever want to live abroad I could just say “I studied in Oxford” and hopefully they won’t look too much into it.