I’m allergic to pancakes

Pancake day is one of the best days of the year. It’s basically the one day where it’s acceptable to have the best breakfast in the world for lunch and dinner too.

But while my flatmates were devouring pancakes drowned in maple syrup, I looked down at the increasingly unappetizing plate of pasta.

Stop being so smug

You know that feeling you get when you crave a food? Like, you’ve really got to have it that second or else you’re gonna punch someone.

Yeah. That’s what I feel most days.

Probably explains why people tell me my natural face is a ‘bitch face’. Yes – I’m allergic to gluten.

My housemate enjoying his gluten-filled pancake

I have “coeliac disease”. I’m one of those pretentious people that ask for the gluten-free menu and complain when a crumb accidentally enters the vicinity of my plate.

But I am ACTUALLY allergic to gluten, I’m not a health freak on a diet. Fuck that.

I have found solace in gluten-free muffins and chocolate but it just isn’t the same. All the best things have gluten in: doughnuts, Cadburys, McDonalds, PANCAKES!?

Woe is me.

Pancake day is over for me.

I could make gluten-free pancakes but they’re not the same and that requires effort. I’m a student, does it look like I own a mixing bowl?

Gluten-free flour creates a somewhat sticky alternative to a pancake and I’d rather not go there. Good pancakes or no pancakes.

I can’t really complain. Coeliac disease isn’t exactly life-threatening but it does hand you a life sentence meaning that you can never eat your favourite foods again.

Apparently 1 in 133 people have undiagnosed Coeliac disease. So you might be laughing at my misfortune now but karma may catch up with you.

Or maybe I’ll perfect a gluten-free pancake recipe for all you gluten-free foodies out there. Watch this space.