House parties have long been revered as the apex of social gatherings.

But no matter how classic you think your house parties are they’re all the same. They all follow the same steps and all end up the same way.

These are those steps.

Jake Kelly (third year history student) Looking a little worse for wear

Getting To Know The Crowd

As a third year, I enjoy the initial chilled vibes of a party over the impending doom of pre-drinks, the opportunity to get wrecked comes later and it doesn’t necessarily have to be in conjunction with blaring chart topping beats.

There’s always a couple of people there that you might not know very well but this is the perfect chance to get to know a new crowd without the menial small talk that definitely occurs on the clubbing scene.

What’s more after a ‘cutla bevs’ and a cheeky line, in a relaxed environment its amazing what conversation can worm its way out of the woodwork.

The host of this birthday bonanza was a certain Jak Hussain: third year bio-medical sciences student at Brookes.  He suggested that “hosting this before (his) birthday is a good excuse for everyone to come together and hopefully everyone will get wankered”.

The happy host: Jak Hussain, third year bio medical sciences student

Anticipating The Night:

Will anyone be brave enough to go on the decks. Will anyone bring substances?  Everybody anticipates how the night’s going to go and this anticipation leads to either: a spectacular climax or a complete flop.

History third year Alex Payne encompasses all of our house party worries, hopes and dreams. He assesses his party as: “tame first impressions but astounding potential.”

At this stage your home will transform from your average grotty Cowley student house to the centre of the world for revellers. Narrow corridors fill up to bursting. It’s got glamour, it’s got swag, or at least you think so.

In reality, the music’s up to loud and nobody’s wasted enough to escape the awkward introductions and screaming “WHAT MODULES ARE YOU DOING” over the bass.

So bants m8

“Letting Go”: the transitional stage between awkward intros and the big finale

Evidently there’s always a couple of nutters who try and really get the party going, whether it be in the form of getting completely paralytic or not everything always starts to spice up after a couple of hours of consumption (booze or otherwise).

One for the camera #lads

Weird Stuff

As people begin to get more and more intoxicated the party begins to get out of hand. Whether somebody ends up running around naked or filling the bath up with pasta because the saucepan simply wasn’t enough, something weird usually happens.

If it gets really wild someone particularly loose can and will put on the Macarena.

The Macarena is the ultimate climax of every party.

Caught on camera!

The Grand Finale (Or sometimes the lack thereof)

Sometimes the party ends with a massive tune that everyone gets up and boogies to (not the Macarena) and sometimes the party just fizzles out as the bodies begin to pile up in all manner of corners.

And sometimes, when you lose the ability to walk, it’s time to give up entirely.

Slightly intoxicated