Thieving student caught stealing tinned tuna from Tesco

A Cowley resident and Oxford Brookes student has taken university budgeting to a new level. The thrifty shopper was banned from the Cowley Road branch of Tesco for the heinous crime of shoplifting earlier this week.

The third year (whose identity remains anonymous), was reportedly caught in the act whilst attempting to smuggle six cans of tuna from the premises.

The ultimate student commodity

An apparent flaw to the self service system allowed the fish fanatic to pay a fraction of the price by checking the cans through as loose onions. One might argue that the perpetrators biggest error was launching his plan whilst the store was quiet, but as I’m sure you’ll agree; the bandit’s biggest mistake was his simple refusal to pay full price for the tinned fish.

Once apprehended the student was taken for questioning in the store’s detention area (back room) where he was issued with an indefinite ban from the supermarket and ordered to write the security guard a letter of apology.

Since the scandal became public late last night, numerous reports have surfaced of past students cutting the cost on a manner of goods including steaks, pate, and smoked salmon by registering them as everyday vegetables, making it something of a common practice at the self service tills.

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