I’m addicted to long distance relationships

Out of the 2 serious relationships I’ve been in, both of them have been long distance. My current one is technically middle distance, ( he lives 3 hours away) but he’s moving to Holland soon so I’m going to count it anyway.

There’s a lot of stigma that surrounds the idea of LDRs (yes it’s a proper abbreviation) and a lot of people don’t tend to stay in them especially not during uni. I totally understand that. It can be emotionally straining and some days you wonder what the hell you’re doing but if the person you’re with is just as dedicated as you are, it’s extremely rewarding.

It’s always a countdown till the next time, and you’re constantly looking forward to it.

I will admit that there are days you want to give up and date someone else who lives closer by. It seems like such an effort to keep up with someone who isn’t there but then you remember the reasons why you agreed to commit to it in the first place and it doesn’t seem so bad.

My first serious relationship lasted just over 2 years, with a whole year of that being LD from California to Hong Kong. That was a 13 hour time difference, meaning we had very limited ‘real time’ communication. And I managed that for a year and only seeing him once for Christmas.

In the end, it didn’t really work out for a number of reasons but at least we tried and I’m glad I did. That gave me experience, understanding and greater knowledge of LDRs. Now that I’m in my second one I’m pretty confident I know what I’m doing so here’s a few tips:

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder”

Very cliche but very true. You really learn to appreciate the person more, so whenever you do get to see your significant other, you always have a good time. It’s impossible to get pissed off at someone you’ve waited weeks/months to see.

You manage your time better

You learn to juggle your time efficiently in order to balance work, friends, Skype dates and exercise (ha) etc. This is great, because then juggling the rest of life becomes (somewhat?) easier, so a big ‘yes’ to gaining life skills.

My flatmates know not to disturb me past 10.

Conversations are really interesting

As you’re both doing different things, you have more stories to tell each other. However, it is possible that you can become so absorbed in your own lives that you run out of things to say. If any awkwardness/issues/problems arise, address them immediately.

There’s no point in not saying anything and letting it become more of a problem. Communication is key; I don’t care how overused that phrase is, it’s TRUE.

His face is naturally blurred.

You develop LDR-specific skills

There are things you need to be good at to maintain an online relationship which are very different from direct interaction. I definitely whatsapp my boyfriend more than I call or Skype him, mainly due to convenience. Sexting is also a valuable skill that one can gain from this.

Sex (and cuddles)

I really don’t think I need to explain this one.

Cyber snuggles will do for mean time.

This is all subjective of course. I find I do really well in LDRs but that may not be the case for someone else. It depends on the person, the distance, and how willing you are to work for the relationship. These are things I’ve picked up along the way that motivate me to keep going and why I don’t think LDRs are completely shit.

What are your opinions on LDRs? Want to have your say? Email [email protected] or like The Tab on Facebook.