Meet the team: Brookes Bulls

Taking time out of both his busy campaign schedule and birthday celebrations Will Crisp, Rugby League President and Student Experience VP Candidate, has given us the gossip on his Brookes Bulls.

1. Who’s the angriest member of the squad?

Apparently the lens was in need of a good licking

Ollie Darvall: The lad’s a bit of a loose cannon, constantly egged on by his partner in crime Alex Robinson.  A good rugby player but he needs to chill the fuck out sometimes.

2. Who’s the always getting injured?

A cut above (the eye)

Joel Haverson: The boy is made of glass. He’s played 7 games in a row this year (a new record for him) and he’s made a promising return to… oh wait he’s injured again. Known to snap knee ligaments from simply dancing, I don’t know how this boy survives on the rugby pitch.

3. Who’s the most high-maintenance?

Note the foundation on the bed

Gorgeous George Keyes: Spending most of his student loan on tanning oil and hair wax it has to be George. A proper Essex boy through and through, it’s not uncommon for George to miss lectures because he just can’t get his hair to fall right.

4. Who’s the biggest freak?

Fuzzy’s hot tub is a haven for freaks and heathens

Sam “Chinny” Neal: Some of you may know Sam as the Fuzzys Hot Tub local, this Lad is definitely a bit unusual. Rarely adhering to the correct theme on nights out, choosing to adopt his own artistic stylings (often bizarre and just strange) he’s hard to miss. He once spent 3 hours on tour trying to catch a fish with his bare hands… Gollum would have been proud.

5. Who’s the biggest drinker?

Rolling back the shots, and his pupils

Ben “Dangerous” Dages: A quiet French boy with a heart of gold, unfortunately it comes with a stomach full of Guiness. Rarely seen without a drink in his hand, this man is truly a hero to casual drinkers everywhere. We salute you and your Laissez Faire attitude.

6. Who’s most successful with the opposite sex?

Fishy fingers at Fishy Fingers

Craig Tandy: With a strong batting average of 2.3/10 it’s no wonder Craig won this prestigious award. Always sharking in Bridge, looking for a bit of strange, Craig is an impressive specimen of a man. His days are limited however as everyone’s starting to forget about the Harry Potter books.

7. Who’s got the most flair on the field?

Luke Blythe: Hands down this award goes to Luke; no one else even comes close. The boy can create gaps like you’ve never seen before (steady), his step is outrageous and his ball handling skill are exceptional because of his exceptionally large hands (I said steady!).

8. Who wouldn’t you expect to be as good as they are?

Will Crisp: It has been said many times in our club that “the captain doesn’t have to be the best player” and Captain Crisp epitomises this. With his shit rig and a shit lid, no one expects his atrocious attempt at a step or his badly run A-ball. Either way, he’s an enigma wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in the body of an overweight Amish man – and we love him for it.

9. Who’s only in it for the parties?

Jacob “The Monk” Adams: aka El Presidente is well known for his lashing skills when it comes to socials. He frequently goes out four nights in the week but never on a Tuesday! Monk’s favourite catchphrase is “down it you dirty Fresher”. Monk really does put the FU in Fuzzy Ducks.

10. Who’s the best player on the squad?

Will Crisp: The obvious choice, the greatest player to ever grace a rugby field, past, present or future. The Amish beard only adds to his mystique. Top try scorer for the last 2 seasons with an 86% kicking rate, where would this team be without him? It’ll be a sad day when he hangs up his boots.

Will is hoping to become the Vice President of Student Experience for 2014/15 in this month’s elections. He is facing competition from fellow candidates Emily MacPherson, Joss Wood and Sarah Brice.

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