Best places to bang at Brookes

It’s nearing the end of term and with lots of exam revision and deadlines approaching, we need to find an outlet for all that stress.

What better way to blow off steam than a quickie on campus? Here is the Tab’s guide to the best places for a hook up.

The Library

Yes, it’s a much talked about cliché but there’s a reason that bumping uglies in the Library is as high up as a threesome on most people’s sex to-do-lists.

It’s almost like a rite of passage for students and the best kind of revision break on those long lonely all-nighters in the Library.

If you’re feeling really brave, take it out of the private study rooms and go for up against a bookcase. I’ve heard the Law section is a popular one.

The new Abercrombie building

The christening of this building is long over due (unless it’s already happened?). Prizes to whoever does the deed first and extra points if it’s in one of the semi-opaque glass corridors.

The basement of the Richard Hamilton

This is where the music practice rooms and recording studios are situated, underneath the art studios. They rooms are sound proof, what more can I say? Bonus: chances are you’ll probably be banging an artist or musician, who are generally quite hot. This is your chance to get creative.

The Sauna Room in the Gym

What better way to cool down (or warm up?) after a work out? You just have to fight your way through the steady stream of fat old bald men that constantly seem to be hanging around. Or maybe they’re just trying to get lucky too.

South Park

Wait for warmer weather to avoid frostbite in embarrassing areas.

Not quite Brookes but close enough. And no ‘places to have sex’ list is complete without an al fresco option. There’s lots of tree protection to hide your modesty although you may be disturbed by the odd runner.

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