Clubber Steve on Brookes University Challenge Team

The iconic Clubber Steve has announced, in a Tab exclusive, that he will be part of the Oxford Brookes University Challenge Team.

Every celebrity needs re-invention. Evolving and keeping thing fresh is essential for any public figure wanting to extend their shelf-life. Miley Cyrus went from an innocent Disney Child Star to an industrial equipment-straddling, hammer-licking, botty-shaking maniac. And Clubber Steve is no different.

Moving from ‘Little History Steven’ to ‘Clubber Steve’ to Football’s ‘Mawsey’, this boy certainly knows how to maintain interest.

Quizzer Steve is the latest image of the elusive Steven Mayes. The Quiz Society President has made it onto the Brookes University Challenge team, beating some very tough competition on the way.

“I think he’s done remarkably well because it was a really high-scoring audition!”  said Steven’s Manager, Joe Parton.

But there’s still a long way to go before we can see Brookes on television, as Quizzer Steve explained:

“The audition is in January, the 4 team members and the reserve (I’m the reserve) sit a 40 question test.”

So sadly Steven is reserve, but still more than willing to do everything to help his team succeed. He is the unsung hero, the relentless workhorse, pulling the strings in the background that every successful team needs.

But is he not upset that he will not see Jeremy Paxman’s wonderful new beard? Or is he even bothered by the facial hair of lesser celebrities?

“I don’t really have an opinion on Paxman’s new beard to be honest with you because when I watch the show I just listen to all the questions, I don’t really focus on Paxman at all.”

Focus is obviously not an issue but does his commitment to University Challenge mean we won’t be seeing him in his natural habitat of Oxford Nightclubs?

“Not at all. Most of my UC revision will be done over Christmas and we have meetings only once a week so I work them around clubbing.”

There surely couldn’t be anyone else that could better represent Brookes than the man, the myth, the maverick, Mr Steven Mayes.