A-Z of Brookes

A is for Atomic Burger

For when GBK and Byron are just too far away. Complete the ‘fallout challenge’ and you’ll win a t-shirt and a blocked artery.

B is for Bridge

You will quickly establish a love/hate relationship with the place. Everyone claims to hate it but turns up on a Monday night without fail to dance to One Direction’s greatest hits.

C is for Clubber Steve

Current Brookes student, blogging legend and Tab columnist. Hasn’t let his diminutive height diminish his luck with the ladies. Coined the catch-phrase ‘clubbing at boob level.’

D is for Dressing up

Perhaps the only city where it’s acceptable to walk around in black tie at any point in the day.

E is for Edgy clothes

Snapbacks, Nike air max’s, oversized jumpers and scrunchies. Signet ring optional.

F is for Fuzzy’s

Once voted FHM’s easiest place to pull in the UK; do not attempt to go sober. Rumours are it’s closing down.

G is for Gibbs building

If you have any lectures here, we pity you. It’s an ugly maze surrounded by constant building work.

H is for Halls

Cheney, Clive Booth …we’re not sure what the others are called or where they are.

I is for Initiation

Sorry, we mean ‘welcome drinks’. Be prepared to force a lethal cocktail of alcohol, fairy liquid, tomato ketchup and whatever else is to hand down your throat.

J is for Jobs

Depending on how kind the Bank of Daddy is feeling you may want to get a part time job. Brookes isn’t known for demanding timetables so you’ll have plenty of spare time.

K is for Klass @ Camera

Thursday nights mainstream alternative to Zoo. Frequented by the rugby team.

L is for lectures

Occasionally you will have to turn up. Read the entry for ‘R’ below if you’re struggling to concentrate.

M is for May day

Otherwise known as that brief moment of annual carnage where Oxford and Brookes are forced to share the dance floor in Bridge and someone inevitably tries to get into the Daily Mail by leaping off Magdalen Bridge only to end up in the back of an ambulance with two broken legs, a bruised ego and a criminal record.

N is for the Nepalese Society

One of over 60 societies available to join (and the only one beginning with ‘N’). We’re particularly taken by the Cake society and WARP (Wargaming and RolePlaying obviously) society.

O is for Oxford Uni

How long will it be before you start telling friends and family that you go to university IN Oxford?

P is for PIP

In theory you can log onto to PIP and look at your modules, results and timetable. In practice it is always frozen and, once you’re in, too confusing to even understand.

Q is for Qualifications

Brookes has 160 undergraduate degrees on offer, from History to Equine Science and Thoroughbred Management.

R is for Ritalin

Somewhat bizzare that the drug prescribed for ADHD supposedly helps you concentrate with revision and exams.

S is for St Clems

St Clems, where Cowley meets the bottom of Headington Hill, feels a bit like no-man’s land. Cross Magdalen bridge and you’re firmly within Oxford territory.

T is for Tourists

Oxford is full of them. Avoid the city centre at weekends unless you want to involuntarily join a Chinese tour group.

U is for Unay

Uni is dead. Unay is everything your parents hoped wouldn’t happen when you left home.

V is for Varsity

Series of sports matches between us and Reading Uni, held over one weekend followed by  a joint, big night out.

W is for Wheatley

It looks like a 1960’s style concentration camp and allegedly has the 2^nd highest student suicide rate in the UK.

X is for X-Rated

Nestling between the various Greek restaurants and Polish supermarkets on Cowley Road is the Private XXX adults shop. Completely obscured by frosted glass windows, how long before curiosity gets the better of you and you go in?

Y is for #YOLO

If you’ve been living under a rock for the last year this stands for ‘you only live once.’ Goes hand in hand with ‘unay.’ You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you suddenly start using it in conversation.

And finally Z is for Zoo at Carbon

Camera’s rival night out on a Thursday. For when alcohol alone is not enough.