Still stuck for ideas? These are the most original Valentine’s Day dates in Bristol

Valentine’s Day already. One of the busiest days of the year for social media. Cue a wave of Instagram stories featuring hastily bought petrol shop flowers, Tesco Clubcard chocolates and reduced section Prosecco.

Nothing says romance like a  roadman and a PLT girl posing in the mirror of their Hiatt Baker bedroom. Isn’t that what we all have in mind when we imagine our very own happy ending?

If you want to stick it to the man (we get it you do philosophy) and stop feeding into these capitalist pressures on Valentine’s Day, we’ve found the solution.

Here are original, free or low-budget date ideas for great activities in Bristol that are leagues above the unnecessary candlelit dinners and teddy bears that Instagram couples love so much.

After all, why pay £65 for a white robe and a couples massage at the Clifton Lido when you could pay £0 and wonder at the city, rather than the floor of the massage room?

The M Shed – £0 

The famous M Shed museum is free of charge. Located on the harbour; you can explore the history of Bristol, after a picturesque walk.

If the small talk gets tiresome and you’re feeling like she may be going off you, there’s plenty of historical material that will make her realise that, all in all, she’s got an OK deal. The Colston Four didn’t knock down that slaver just for you to stare across the table adoringly. Get out there and stare at his sorry state, displayed in the museum.  

Banksy walking tour – £0 

Allow your date to spend hours pondering “WHAT DOES IT MEAN?” rather than ‘ARE WE EVEN COMPATIBLE?’ as they stare up at these famous pieces of street art.

Having read up on Banksy before you go, you’ll be able to impress your other half with some pointless contextual knowledge, just like it’s a GCSE English lit exam and AQA is the lucky woman.

They’ll be charmed and, ok, if you really have to, you can take an edgy picture for the gram. Make sure you don’t mislead the followers though – your girlfriend might study History of Art, but I think trying to pass her off as Banksy is a bit of a stretch.  

Trip to Bath – £8.40 for return train tickets

 If you need a break from the rahs in Bristol, why not hop on a train and visit the rahs in Bath within approximately 16 minutes. This scenic city serves as a great couples’ escape.

A word of warning for those of you bridging the North-South divide however: steer clear of uttering the name of the city you have travelled to. Just because he’s your boyfriend, doesn’t make him different from the rest of the Southerners. There’s nothing they find funnier than a Northerner… speaking. 

Trampolining – £21 for two hours  

Instead of a romantic meal at MoltoBuono! why not burn off some steam at AirHop! trampoline park in Cribbs Causeway. This may be especially suitable for you long-termies. No one thought your sixth-form love affair would last? Well, here you are. Against all odds, you made it!

Why not try something different for your fifth Valentines together and pretend you still have anything in common by jumping high into the air and remembering the joys of childhood. Just like when you first met – eh? 

Everyman Bristol – £16  

I hate to sink this low, but I had to include it. The Everyman Bristol are screening a special Valentines edition of The Notebook. Ok. Go and enjoy it.

Sink into those heavenly sofas, and imagine that you are, in fact, Rachel Macadams and your boyfriend is, no other than, Ryan Gosling, rather than a 2nd year mechanical engineer you met on Hinge. But for god’s sake keep your Tango Ice Blasts to yourself. No singleton needs to see that sweet nectar alongside your boyfriend’s skin fade. We’ve had enough!  

 After that extensive list, if you’re still buying Cadbury’s selection boxes and instagramming the shit out of your trip to Paris then I don’t know what more to tell you.  

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• The nine best things to do in Bristol if you’re single for Valentine’s Day

• If you do any of these icks, it’s no shock you’re single this Valentine’s Day

• We hosted pres in Senate House and this is why you should too