If you do any of these icks, it’s no shock you’re single this Valentine’s Day

If you don’t want to be single, don’t ride a Voi

Have you ever had that feeling when you’re suddenly repulsed by the person you’re seeing? The thought of being with them becomes unbearable, they make your toes curl and you think of every excuse not to see them.

I hate to tell you, but you’ve got the ick. Sometimes it just happens and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. However, we’re all guilty of having some pretty small and superficial things that are enough to put us off a person for life.

We asked Bristol uni students what their biggest icks are so you know what to avoid.

1. Boys holding an umbrella

Who are you, Mary Poppins? This ick is made ten times worse if it’s a windy day and you have to watch them struggle with their inside out umbrella. Just put your hood up.

2. Girls who think they can outdrink you

Seeing a girl violently chundering is a huge turn off, know your limits.

3. Boys who Voi

Imagine the person you fancy standing completely upright on a voi with their hair blowing back in the wind. Freakish.

4. Girls who can’t make up their minds

Note to self always know where you want to go for dinner.

5. Boys who do triathlons

This one confused me at first but imagine a boy in a lycra unitard and cycling shoes. Then picture him trying to really quickly get off his bike. If they fall off it’s game over because that’s too tragic.

6. Girls who can’t roll

Always get someone else to roll for you and save yourself some embarrassment.

7. Boys who drink milk specifically in the evening

You can redeem yourself if its plant based milk but anyone who still drinks cow’s milk doesn’t deserve love. Drinking milk before bed screams Mummy issues and you need to grow up.

8. Girls who never have their own baccy and always expect you to provide

‘Rah, where’s your baccy?’

9. Boys going down a water slide

Again use your imagination, lying on their back with their arms crossed over their chest. Take notes never go on a date to the water park.

10. Girls who use the ‘Alexa play…’ Instagram caption

Get some originality.

11. Boys who can’t use a knife and fork

Who raised you?

12. Girls who wear those Fila trainers

Can we all collectively boycott Fila disruptors? There is never a situation where those shoes are acceptable or necessary.

13. A boy having a hole in their sock and their toe sticking out of it


14. Girls who think charity shopping is a personality trait

If trying to save the environment from fast fashion is wrong then I don’t want to be right.

15. A boy with pasta sauce round their mouth

This is a classic. Please learn to eat food like an adult and if this is too much for you, avoid spag bol at all costs.

16. Girls fake laughing

No one likes an attention seeker.

17. Boys with a man bun

The only solution to this is walking round with a pair of scissors and swiftly chopping off the man buns when you spot them. This is the lord’s work.

18. Girls who can never take one of your compliments

Don’t try and be humble girls apparently it’s not attractive.

19. UWE boys

Enough said.

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