Why are all Bristol boys wearing skinny Adidas trackies?

You just look Dorito-shaped tbh


Recently we’ve all started to notice skinny Adidas trackies on Bristol guys have become the equivalent of flares on Bristol girls. To quote #Bristruth2317, "just because you’ve heard one JME song don’t mean you gotta start wearing Adidas trackies and using 'wagwan' in your everyday vocabulary."

I get it, they’re comfy but take it from the girls – you’d stand a much better chance on a night out if you switched them up for a pair of jeans because right now you just look like you’ve stepped out of a Bristol wasteman starter pack. All you need more is a flight bag, a key round your neck and a freshly shaved head and you’re set for a night at Lakota.

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You actually look like this

We asked Biology second year Alex why he just can’t face leaving the trackies at home and he admitted, "I’ve got seven pairs, one for every day of the week. They’re comfy okay? Like a second skin." To be honest mate, they’re so tight they might as well be.

What confuses us all the most is that it isn’t the hench rugby lads wearing them, which would probably receive a slightly warmer welcome. It’s the skinny pin-legged definitely-misses-leg-day Stokey B boys, looking like they just stepped out of JD Sports a decade ago.

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Truth

One strong defender of the trackies said: "Tapered trackies aren’t a joke. They subtly contour the leg making even the most chicken-legged man, a truly thicc boi.

"They are comfy, practical and flexible. Great for star jumps. Every self-respecting man wants to be Dorito shaped. Skinny trackies merely accentuate that point."

So even if you are a massive fan of this obscenely disproportioned look, please do us all a favour and keep the trackies for either the confinements of your house, the gym or the airport. No one needs to see the outline of your crotch.