A definitive list of the problems with your second year Bristol house

You will FREEZE


Fresh off your taste of independence from first year, and with all the naïve excitement to be living, eating and sharing fridge space with your best pals – the reality of second year housing can really put a dampener on your dreams of a Redland paradise.

Never mind the feuds over the washing up and heating bills, the real pinnacle of second year existence is the living standard your landlord will try and palm you off with.

Mouldy mattresses, suspicious smells and inexplicable bathroom leaks will all become the norm – and don’t think your landlord is going to be any use sorting it out.

Here are some of the most traumatising, weird, and downright grim experiences of living out of halls which you can look forward to.

Cleaning isn't a thing

Moving in day can provide some special surprises, as one student found out when they turned the key to a flat literally coated in trash.

In fact, no key turning was even necessary, as “the door was propped open with rubbish – literally anyone could have wandered in”. Ghost with a hygiene problem or a mean spirited ex-tenant?

When you can't even move in your own house

Nothing works — actually nothing

Prepare to get creative; non-functioning appliances are a sad inevitability. One flat were treated to a cocktail of breakdowns including the lack of a working shower and a broken front door lock (concerning).

You know it’s getting desperate when you’re hanging up sleeping bags as improvised curtain substitutes.

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Sleeping bags for curtains? Genius

You will FREEZE

Throw away any hopes of keeping warm this winter – your single glazed window will do as much to keep you toasty as your landlord will do to get rid of the mould. Just consider yourself lucky if the glass actually stays in the frame.

Your WiFi will be dodgy AF

Dodgy WiFi is going to become pretty standard, and there will be constant debate in the house group chat about which floor to put the router.

Days of spontaneous Netflix are no more, unless at least half the house are out and you can finally load your episode of Friday Night Dinner.

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This will become your life

The sink will be full 90 per cent of the time

Half-finished washing up is going to sit in the sink for weeks on end, and no amount of nagging, passive aggressive sticky notes or confrontational snapchats are going to change it.

May as well get used to the smell of five-day-old curry every time you walk into the kitchen.

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A constant biohazard

The layout of your house will make no sense

And finally, sometimes your housing issues aren’t even centred around your landlord or your flatmates – they’re simply structural. Good luck washing your hands if you don’t fancy doing advanced acrobatics to reach the sink. Who knew some basins had a height limit?

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Every bathroom trip made a gymnastic adventure