The complete list of all the ways you’ll be passive aggressive towards your housemates
Because who needs confrontation?
University is a time of self-discovery, exploration, and living with five random strangers in second year.
Having no say over the people you’re forced to spend with a year of your life with can lead to arguments over washing, laundry and most importantly – milk.
Here’s a list of every way you’ll be passive aggressive to your housemates so that you can avoid all forms of verbal communication.
Leaving passive aggressive notes with a smiley face on.
The smiley face says it all – ‘can you take out the rubbish 🙂 ’. You’re not happy you’ve asked your housemate to take out the rubbish, you’d be happier if they did it the third time you asked them, not the tenth.
Switching to skimmed milk to make sure your milk doesn’t get stolen.
Unfortunately, the only way to protect your milk is to have it taste like water. The days of seeing green-bottled, semi-skimmed goodness are over — you might even resort to soya milk after being targeted by vegans.
Setting hundreds of alarms for a 9 am and hitting snooze.
Now you’ve been woken up in time for their 9 am too…except you were supposed to start at 2.
Taking over the Bluetooth speaker on the sly.
All you wanted was a relaxed night listening to ABBA to forget the existential crisis that is your dissertation. However, housemates want to listen to hard-core grime. Cometh the hour, cometh the man – you stand your ground and have a war over your Bluetooth.
Having a stalemate over who will buy toilet roll.
Toilet roll is expensive – not the sandpaper that is Asda’s own brand, it’s important to treat yourself to luxuries in life. But you’ve bought it for the last month, and now you’re forced to use the toilets at the library and gym until your housemate finally gives in.
Unclogging hair from the drain and leaving it there.
You wanted somewhere with an en suite, but fate intervened and made sure your bathroom experience was ‘character building’. However, the only thing that is building up is your roomates’ hair and your burning rage.
Leaving your housemate's dirty dishes in their room.
We all have that one housemate that leaves their dishes for so long that mould – yes, mould – starts to grow on the dishes. So, why not be bold put that mould in their room so they can finally clean it?
Writing your name on all your food.
Stand your ground, mark your territory – this milk is mine.
Closing your bedroom door a bit too loudly in the morning so your friend in the shower knows you’re waiting.
It’s the one time you’ve woken up for your 10 am, and your housemate is taking the longest shower imaginable. Knock and ask them to hurry up? No, instead send them subtle messages – their shower is getting in the way of your 2:1.
Putting a tick next to your name every time you take the rubbish out.
If you got £1 for every time you took out the rubbish, you'd probably have enough to live off Taka Taka for the year.
You may also like
It’s pot-luck that it’s opened in Bristol!
‘It made me feel as though I couldn’t get tired, and I just got my head down and worked.’
Strut your stuff for a great cause
BAME students at Bristol are a third less likely to get a first. Meet the campaigners fighting to change that
The BME for Success Program supports the experience and success of BAME students
The trust failed to implement a management plan for Natasha Abrahart, that could have saved her life
85 per cent of UoB’s original funding came from slavery