A complete list of things you shouldn’t do as a Bristol fresher
Reinventing yourself never works
Famous for its carnivalesque abandonment of social order and convention in favour of seven days of intoxication, Freshers' Week has become as much about getting outrageously drunk with strangers as for signing up for societies and meeting your tutors.
But while Freshers' Week can be a great opportunity to meet new friends and reinvent yourself from a shy schoolboy to a certified roadman, here are a couple of things that you should never, ever, do as a fresher – trust us.
Fall in love with your flatmates
Both platonically and romantically, falling head over heels for your new flatmates in Freshers' is something you’ll regret, especially after they’ve stolen all your milk and gone out to that party without you for the third time this teaching block.
Spend all you loan
If you had a penny for the amount of times extended members of the family have said this, you probably wouldn't be £1000 into your overdraft before your first lecture.
But when it comes to your student loan, every drunk student this side of Stoke Bishop wants a piece of it, and when you’re buying the third round of Jägerbombs in a row for everyone in C block you’ll realise why some people have wealth and you do not.
Pretend to be Stormzy
It can be very tempting when arriving at any university to abandon the plethora of Jack Wills hoodies that you've brought, with you in fear of appearing ‘not-cool’ in front of your new friends and buying the nearest pair of classic Reebok and North Face jacket that your student loan can afford. Along with this, using words like ‘ting’ and ‘mandem’ is never a good idea if home for you is the green suburbs of Wimbledon.
Wear your school jumper EVERYWHERE
If you’re going to commit to an image at least be consistent, because no one’s going to believe your new obsession with grime music while you’re still sporting that Tonbridge leavers hoody.
Talk about Oxbridge rejection ALL THE TIME
"Oh my god, Wadham ALSO rejected me!! But I'm not bitter, not bitter, REALLY not bitter in the slightest ahaha, Bristol's basically like Oxbridge innit just without the pedigree, history or worldwide name recognition!!"
Miss the entirety of Freshers' Week
Whether it be for work or out of pure distain for clubbing, don't miss the opportunity to meet loads of new people, share fun experiences with your flatmates, and if you’re anything like me, embarrass yourself in front of them in Pryzm to then run home on your own and stick on the Smiths, before calling your sixth-form girlfriend and crying about what you ‘might have had’ with her. This is a once in a life time opportunity and should not be wasted.
Talk incessantly about your gap yah
"I like, really found myself yah at the bottom of daddy's wallet"
Subscribe to every mailing list at the Freshers' Fair
"Hey great to see you’re excited to try cheese soc for 2017!" *Delete*
"Get your sabres at the ready because fencing society starts this Wednesday!" *Delete*
"Get your sadbois together and get ready to be ‘miserable now’ because Smiths soc starts this week!" *Cries, deletes*
Freshers is a great chance to get involved in a whole host of new social events and societies, and while you definitely shouldn't do any of these things, you should definitely come along to the Tab’ Bristol’s first writers meeting next Thursday at 17:30 in the Brass Pig to try your hand at some student journalism!