A ten step guide to doing the Cori Tap challenge
Written on my iPhone notes as I drank my way through it
The Coronation Tap is as much a part of the Bristol scenery as the Clifton Suspension Bridge or the Nos dealer outside Lakota.
Eager to tick its infamous challenge off my ‘Bristol bucket list’, I gamely rocked up at the ancient ale house last Thursday night and slapped down £25 for the challenge.
For those unaware of what it entails, the Cori Tap challenge involves drinking 10 half pints of the Cori tap’s own brewed £2.50 Exhibition cider (it’s over double the strength of normal cider) in one sitting.
Below are a series of iPhone note messages I wrote as I made my way through the 10 half pints. Into the valley of death I plunged….
Refreshing and rejuvenating, the first drink is always the best. The company is intoxicating, the atmosphere is electric, there’s at least half a dozen societies here, the evening is off to a good start.
Straight down the hatch, no problemo. Think I just encountered a couple of violently vomiting UWE students- what on earth are they doing here so far away from home?
In vino veritas they say and in truth, I feel perfectly fine. Life is sweeter than the cider being served, barely affected me so far.
An awesome foursome of Cori Tap ciders. Admittedly I did spill some of it down me, thanks to an aggressive shove from a middle aged local but after a tense stand off, a friendly handshake resolved the tension.
Ok, it’s starting to affect me now. Clouding my judgement, possible forecast of chunder and lightning. I’ve had to step outside due to the sweaty heaving masses inside, the cool night air hitting me like a slap round the face.
I’ve hit the wall. It feels like Inception is playing in my head, a deafening alcohol induced foghorn blaring through my brain. The walls are starting to spin, tears are forming in my eyes- I don’t think I’m going to make it.
I get my second wind. It’s going down a lot smoother now, no more tiny sips, just knocking it back like shots of vodka. Three gulps and I’m done, on to the next one.
Well that didn’t last long. I’m literally having to force it down me, holding my nose and repressing the urge to retch and regurgitate. Every instinct in my battered body is screaming to relinquish the fight, but my eyes are still on the prize- a prestigious Cori Tap badge, the mark of a true champion. I will not give up.
It really hurtss now. My stomach, soul and spirit are all hurting, I think I’m going to throw it all up, please halp me. I didn’t choose the alcohol life, it chose me. Tell my mum I love her.
oH my God, I want to diee, please stop it, help meee, I didn’t choode yhid.
Postscript: I managed to (just) complete the challenge and staggered home proudly clutching the “I’ve been Corried” badge. Three days later and I’m still suffering the worst hangover of my life.