University students ranked Bristol lower than UWE

‘Analysis’ from whatuni.com has revealed the top 100 universities as rated by its students and has placed Bristol University in a shocking 77th place.

The quasi-official rankings rated universities across 10 categories ranging from city life, student unions, clubs and societies to job prospects, lecturers and courses.

Four hundred and ninety students, (roughly three percent of the student body), gave Bristol a shameful 4.07 as an overall score out of a possible 5.

The result comes as a surprise following Bristol’s nomination for Best University City earlier this month.

Ahead of Bristol, our lesser counterpart – UWE slid in towards the higher half of the rankings, grabbing a (still measly) 44th place; in front of Oxbridge nonetheless.

Bristol was ahead of  UCL and Kings who were hidden amongst institutions whose prospectus’ you reluctantly but politely look at when attending university fairs, like a pamphlet from a Jehovah’s Witness.

The top spot was unsurprisingly claimed by the glistening beacon of academia and cathedral of fun – Harper Adams University!

According to their website, the university specialises in farming, agricultural and managerial studies, which doesn’t sound like it would elicit much student satisfaction. However a quick google search will inform you that their S.U allows semi-naked women to lick cream off each other. It’s hard to compete with competition this tough.

UWE, a University that is apparently better than Bristol.

Some critics claim that 25,000 students is too small a sample to be considered relevant.

However, there’s still something degrading about being sandwiched between Staffordshire University and the University of fucking Sterling on this arbitrary table.