The Galleries might just be the least edgy place in Bristol

“Bristol is the edgiest place, like, so wavy”, said every person ever. A lot of the time, we all like to slowly nod our heads in a knowing way as we drop. Yeah, we know. But there’s a secret in the heart of Bristol. It’s the Mr Hyde to Cabot Circus’s Jekyll. It’s The Galleries.

A place of limbo. A ghost town full of people. A graveyard for lost hope and broken dreams. It’s like walking into a foreign supermarket – everything is familiar… but wrong. The rice is next to the shampoo, Subway is next to a Jamie Oliver kitchenware shop.  

How is this a choice?

Why does it exist? What is its purpose? What does it want from me? Why does it have a Peacocks? Is that even still a thing? Have we stepped back in time? What decisions in my life have led me to this fresh hell?

The gravity of this mindfuck knows no bounds. In the alternative universe of The Galleries, a freak show of products plagues you. We’re fairly sure nobody has ever, ever watched Frozen and thought they’d like a Frozen party drink (non-alcoholic, of course). Yet here it is.

We’re drinking from the bottle…the dregs

First no more nos, now this

As you’re reeling from the confusion, you’ll look desperately for some directions, some sign of normality. All you learn is you’re not in Kansas anymore. Instead, you’re outside a fashion horror show: a grisly house of shame and regret.

Absolutely not Italian fashion

Also – there’s a Laura Ashley here. Where did you go Laura and why did you end up here? Don’t lose hope, we’ll always love you.

Next time you need cheap batteries, a Jamie Oliver whisk, a Subway, some frozen non-alcoholic fizz or a death wish, just head on down to The Galleries. We’ve really painted a picture (of Dante’s Inferno) for you.

We don’t want wifi, we want to understand