I asked a dating app expert how to get a girlfriend

She told me ‘don’t be afraid of showing your quirky side’

To misquote Samuel Johnson, “if you’re tired of Tinder you’re tired of life”. So we asked an expert  in the field of 21st century romance how we can ‘win’ at Tinder and Bumble.

Alex Williamson is the Creative Director at Bumble, an app that simultaneously finds you love and crushes the patriarchy.

alex williamson

She gave us advice on how to chop through the dark shrubbery of online dating, and gave us hope in finding the true one.

An important thing to realise is most people have boring and bland bios, so give your opposite number something to work with. Alex explained that it’s a great way to get someone to initiate conversation.

“Most guys fail here. So put yourselves in the girls’ shoes and give them something to talk about.”

This doesn’t mean mentioning your unadulterated sexual fantasies or how you’re a card-carrying member of UKIP. Although according to Alex, mentioning Netflix is a bigger threat to your heart.

“Everyone references Netflix. So don’t do it unless you’re actually looking for someone to watch it with. If you sincerely love Netflix, mention that explicitly in your bio. You have no idea how many girls will tell you ‘if we hit it off, I’ll give you my password’.”

Never be afraid to show your quirky side...

Never be afraid to show your quirky side…

The bio is the goldmine, so make it significant yet small.

“Unless you’re an eloquent writer with a knack for elegant prose, don’t make your bio big. Keep it short and sweet.”

Alex added that humour is key in the game of online dating.

“There’s nothing sexier than a witty bio. My friends are three times more likely to swipe right if the person has something funny to say.”

This also extends to the realms of self deprecation – so be as awkward and English as you possibly can. Let your axiom be, “When in doubt, be Hugh Grant.”

She told us that it makes you seem more relaxed and more of a laugh.

This shouldn't be your bio.

This shouldn’t be your bio.

“When in doubt, make a gentle joke of yourself. Humble boasting works too. Throw out your embarrassing school nickname that you can’t shake, followed by an amusing trait about yourself.”

Unlike school, you can afford to be a bit weird and left-field, without the fear of social reprisal.

“Don’t be afraid to highlight a quirk. My favourite bio ever was “I will make you a table and build quiches on it.”

Humour, irony and a dollop of balls-to-the-walls weirdness don’t work with photos though. Alex told us that if you’re a chubby, bubbly boy who is trying to lose weight, don’t post a picture of your bare chest.

“Judge yourself objectively. Essentially, you are selling the best version of yourself. You wouldn’t tell one of your mates to post pictures wearing a swimsuit if his body wasn’t made for a calendar – treat yourself the same way.”

In short, stop doing everything that you’re doing immediately.