Meet the ‘born again’ Pastor on campus who thinks we’re all sinners

Student life is hard. We drink too much, get high too often, have sex out of wedlock and we do all of this knowing that we’ll be fed a holy-shit sandwich on Judgement Day.

At least that’s what this ‘Born Again’ pastor thinks.

James Lee is the pastor of The Bristol International Church. He can normally be found walking around Woodland Road with a wooden crucifix, a bible and the wrath of God.

He’s cross with us for getting high, and not with the big guy.

We caught up with him to find out about his views on drugs, booze, sex and whether we would be saved when the Book of Revelations proves to be spot on.

He told us that his church is in Cotham Vale, a stone’s throw from campus. Like his hero, he bares his cross every day through heat, toil and the occasional party of glitter-smothered ravers, just so he can preach the good word.

“God called me – he sent me to the young people of Bristol, especially the ones studying at Bristol Uni.”

We seriously need it guys – we’ve been on one coke-addled, vomit lined, STD marred bender since we were born.

“Homosexuality, taking drugs, drinking alcohol – these all lead people to become dirty.”

Pastor Lee went on to explain as to why we’re all a dirty bunch of messed up players.

“Humankind was conceived through Adam and Eve – our ancestors. When they fell into sin, all of their descendent fell into sinful desires too. But the bible says, ‘do not commit adultery, do not drink alcohol, and that the proper marriage is between husband and wife.'”

The original sin is a heavy load to bare.

He went on to tell us what would happen, if we didn’t repent from our naughty, dirty ways.

“Only the few who become born again will be raptured. Everyone else who sins on Earth will not be saved.”

This isn’t tough love though. Pastor Lee gave us his top 3 tips in surviving Judgement Day. If you want the full effect, make sure the room is filled with light, and you have holy water to hand.

Look closely: Woodland Road needs some light and colour.

Firstly, make your heart humble. According to Pastor Lee, you can do this easily without much expense. Just ask God to appear before you.

Secondly, read the bible with a humble mind and without prejudice. For this you need to buy a bible.

Thirdly, try to be a ‘born again’ Christian. This one’s really simple – just abandon your previous beliefs in science, reason, the Enlightenment, sexual equality and the right to consume whatever the hell you want, and join your local evangelical Church.

Thank the lack of god, we might just be saved.