Greedy uni bosses raked in over £130,000 in fines last year

Over three grand came from people caught with drugs


As if each of us paying £9,000 a year wasn’t enough to line their coffers, last year Bristol uni earned over £130,000 by fining students.

An eye-watering total of £134,948 was raised by shaking students down as punishment for disciplinary offences and library late fees.

Of the total, £125,800 came from library fines and the remaining £9,148 was issued for disciplinary offences.

The most common disciplinary offence was drug use/possession, an unsurprising fact given Bristol was recently found to be the 8th druggiest uni in the country.

This kind sir is funding our education

The “high court” issued fines totalling £3,260 to narcotic-lovers in the 13/14 academic year.

The second-biggest earner for the uni were the freshers dumb enough to get caught covering their smoke detectors. £1,995 was raised from charging people who’d rather risk death than go outside for a ciggy.

Intoxication, noise and anti-social behaviour also proved invaluable to the uni’s bottom line with £1,510 removed from poor students’ bank accounts after heavy nights at Bunker and Pams.

Perhaps the best fine on the list though went to one lucky individual who was caught with an “undeclared overnight guest”. Unluckily however, this overnight guest was discovered stark naked handcuffed to the ceiling mid-coitus, and the individual involved was fined £10.

I hope they checked in at reception

More obscure fines were also given for offences ranging from “use of incense” to “persistent mess”. All in all, fines average out at around £8 per student per year.

On the subject of library fines, a university spokesperson said: “Money received through library fines is used by the Library to support services important to students, including the purchase of books and journals, and for extending library opening hours.”

Ooooh fancy pods