Stokes Croft Road is the most dangerous place to live in Bristol

There are 28 crimes a month on the hipster hotspot

If you’re planning on moving to Stokes Croft next year, you might want to change your mind.

New UK police statistics reveal the street was the site of an eye-watering 1,352 crimes in the last academic year.

From September 2013 to June 2014, the hipster hotspot averaged 28 crimes a month, nearly one per day.

Stokes Croft everyone - is a caption really necessary?

Stokes Croft everyone – is a caption really necessary?

Not much better are Lower Gay Street on 106 and North Street on 73. In total, the Stokes Croft area chalked up 1,352 criminal incidents.

Third Year Biologist and Stokes Croft resident James told The Tab: “We were questioned by the police about an armed robbery down the road.

“I never worried about safety before but now I’m considering investing in some heavy weaponry and karate lessons. You can never be too careful.”

Away from the dodgy side of town where even sweet little old ladies probably run meth labs, police figures revealed that Clifton is actually more dangerous than Redland.

Only a fool would leave the house without packing heat in this supposedly posh and nice neighbourhood, with 917 offences committed here last year.

This guy looks pretty shifty - trust no one on Clifton Road

This guy looks pretty shifty – trust no one on Clifton Road

Den of thieves Clifton Road came out on top with 54 offences, with Pembroke Road and Portland Street hot on its heels with 45 and 43 respectively.

Meanwhile, the student-dominated Redland comes out looking relatively pleasant, with only 744 crimes committed there in the last academic year.

Probably a crack den

Probably a crack den

Winning the title of most dangerous street is Oakland Road, which saw a chart-topping 44 offences reported to the police. Residents here will also be proud to know that their street is the only one in Redland to experience at least one crime every month of the year. Keep up the good work, aspiring thug-lyfers!

Second past the line is Hampton Road, with 40 offences, followed by Whiteladies, with 37.