This fourth year is aiming to win a national bodybuilding competition

He taught us how to lift and everything


Meet Marc Antony Hurr.

He’s a fourth year Maths and Engineering student, lover of Mbargo who laments the “decline” of Lounge, and a single man who gets emotional at father-son moments in Hollywood.

He’s also entering a UK-wide bodybuilding competition.

Form an orderly queue.

Form an orderly queue

We decided to have a chat with him about the competition, his life, why he has the physique of a Game of Thrones character and whether or not he’s ever licked a battery.

So first and foremost, tell us about the competition?

They’ve rounded up the best bodybuilders in the UK – from Scotland to Southampton, trying to find the strongest Uni students in the UK. It’s as close as you can get to professional bodybuilding.

There are two regional quarter finals before the final. I’m going to Southampton this Saturday. The top 50 per cent go through to the finals.

I obviously Facebook stalked you massively before meeting you for this interview: have you always been this ripped?

I’m not a tall guy – I had a bad cycling accident when I was twelve that delayed my growth and basically left me really weak. I told myself “I need to get bigger” and I realised my body responds well to exercise.

In sixth form they built a gym at my school, so my friends and I started going every day and we all got pretty big.

I used to be called short arse when I was in secondary school – that went away quite quickly.

Yawning-while-he-lifts-wanker.

Yawning-while-he-lifts-wanker.

What’s your advice to people who want to get bigger?

I always think that even one hour in the gym is the best hour you’ll spend all day. So instead of a session of Netflix and extensive masturbation, hit the gym.

Five times a week, one hour each day – that really isn’t a lot of time at all.

If you want to get “big”, eat less carbs, it’s quite easy to do really. When I was bulking, I was on the doner kebab and burgers most days. As soon as the competition came about, I changed very quickly!

I have a gun, I put this gun to your head with the motive of killing you: you have to choose Hegel or Nietzsche: who would you pick?

Is this really the question that is going to decide my fate, my life?! Then again, I would pick Nietzsche. There’s a Monty Python sketch where they have a philosophers drinking song and he is the only one I can really remember.

Do you have any ‘psychological’ advice for people?

90 per cent of working out and getting big is psychological – you really need to get into the mindset. And do what you say – it’s that simple. If you say “I’m going to the gym today”, just do it. Its all about rhythm, routine, regime.

Professional bodybuilder is located on the right of the picture.

Professional bodybuilder is located on the right of the picture

Is there a love in your life?

I’m single. Feel free to prostitute me in the Tab.

Is Miliband in a leadership crisis?

Politicians always take pot shots at each other. It’s annoying. I don’t like any of them – I’m not going to vote UKIP, so who the hell am I going to vote for?

Would you describe ‘Love Actually’ as a beautiful tour de force?

Yeah – there is a great game you can play with that. You place a Santa hat on the screen and when one of the characters starts “wearing” it, you drink. We got a bit tipsy, let’s just say.

Harder, better, faster, stronger.

Harder, better, faster, stronger.

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Have you licked a battery?

Is this because I look retarded? Not really recently, but I can’t account for my youth. I reckon there’s a 60 per cent chance of me licking a battery.

If you were short of cash, would you pen male erotica for money?

I don’t think I would. Are there not alternatives? Like a job?

We’ve covered quite a lot haven’t we?!

To help your fellow Bristol student get to the final and beyond, give this photo a like.