We asked some robot-building electrical engineers to play Shag, Marry, Kill

‘I would not have sex with a robot’


Last week, BEES (Bristol Electrical and Electronic Engineering Society) paid homage to every nineties child’s favourite tea-time television programme by putting on their very own Robot Wars.

Sixteen teams entered, leading to a dramatic three-way final, with “Flipping Hack” reigning supreme.

robots 2

In keeping with the three-way theme, we asked the robot-builders and engineering eggheads to answer one simple question…

Shag, marry, kill: R2-D2, C-3PO, and the Jaws shark?

I’d always assumed electrical engineers loved robots above all else. Some though were less enthusiastic than others.

Megan, an engineer from Seattle, was quick to marry R2-D2 and kill Jaws. She ended our conversation by curtly saying: “I would not have sex with a robot.’

I soldiered on, and soon discovered R2-D2 was a clear favourite among engineers. Zak, a second year, had a very romantic view on his marriage to the robot: “I want to use R2-D2 as a drinks holder and make him my bitch”.

Jaws was the least popular choice of partner, with Alex and Joel, both second years, going with the “eye for an eye” argument. Alex said: “I’d kill Jaws, because he would kill me if he got the chance”.

The murderous shark was left in the cold once more by Ben, who rejected the possibility of a relationship with the creature: “Nobody wants Jaws”.

Protection is key in robot relationships

Protection is key in robot relationships

One engineer who refused to give their name felt the question was a bit too restrictive. “Why can’t I marry, fuck and kill one of them?”

Ultimately, the biggest winner of the night was C-3PO, proving that no matter how cold, pedantic, and old you might be, a room full of electrical engineers will still give you some action.

Craig Charles morphed with Amy Pond to host the battle

Craig Charles morphed with Amy Pond to host the battle