I pretended to be an Arts student by staying in and watching TV all day

Everyone’s always saying arts students have it easy, that they never have to go to lectures and can laze around all day. But is that actually any fun?

I decided to swap my normal routine of labs and a full day in uni for the life of an arts student: camped in front of the telly doing fuck all.

Will I be driven mad by the endless parade of crap daytime TV? Only one way to find out.

6:02 Turns out breakfast only starts at 6. Proof this is way too early.

6:00 Have decided that 6am was way too early to start this. Can’t imagine any self-respecting arts student being up before noon.

6:10 Just found out about Madonna’s fall yesterday, seems like just about the most interesting thing to happen at the BRITs for years.

6:20 Like all good arts students I went out on a weekday. Yes, going out in the week for science students is a bit of a novelty. I am now desperately regretting that decision.

6:21 It’s going to be rainy and windy all day. If my life were a novel this would definitely be pathetic fallacy.

6:37 Turns out energy drinks contain a shitload of sugar…who knew?

6:39 They keep repeating clips of the Arsenal loss yesterday against Monaco. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep.

6:42 Russell Crowe’s bid to buy Leeds United has been shut down completely because Leeds say they’re not for sale.

6:46 I wonder how many times I’ll watch the weather forecast today. Already on three. Any bets?

6:53 Not impressed by the main story about how biology is boring. Starting to think daytime TV is all a conspiracy against science by the arts students. If only we had time to watch it we would realise.

6:57 Did BBC Breakfast seriously just think asking what the green pigments in plants are was a difficult question? Try learning about how chlorophyll utilises oton energy, then come talk to me about difficult.

7:00 One hour down, 11 to go.

7:11 I think they’re just repeating the Madonna clip for the lols now.

7:17 Just watched an advert for a magazine called OMG! This can’t be a real thing.

7:18 After Breakfast had repeated their newsreel five time, I’ve decided to switch to Good Morning Britain and it’s on an ad break. This is why no one watches you ITV.

7:45 Watching the presenters on Good Morning Britain squirm over trying to work out a percentage discount. They should try some thermodynamics next time.

7:22 Seriously more Madonna? I can see the presenters holding in the laughter. “I’ve already watched this 20 times today”, yeah I bet you have.

 

7:30 I’m going to enter every competition I see on TV today, surely I can win something? After all this must be the main source of income for arts students after they graduate.

8:00 They’re showing the trailer for Frozen 2, I imagine arts students are positively salivating at the thought of another feminist phenomenon to rival the first.

8:15 I’m not even going to lie I’m definitely most excited for Jeremy Kyle today.

8:17 I would be up by now on normal day, as a pseudo-arts student I haven’t even left bed yet.

8:26 It would seem Kanye West cannot escape controversy after his BRITs performance and the Grammy’s. You’d think he was doing it on purpose. Maybe for publicity? I don’t know, just a thought.

8:31 Just started watching Wanted Down Under. Is this just a prolonged advert for Australia’s tourist board?

8:41 The idea walking up St Michael’s Hill right now like I normally would is filling me with dread. Now I see the appeal of 7 hours of lectures a week.

8:52 Do all arts students know sign language as a result of watching so much daytime TV? I feel like after today I might be halfway there.

9:08 How did I ever get up for 9am lectures?

9:21 Blue are on Lorraine? I didn’t even know they still existed. 

9:23 They just showed a preview of Jeremy Kyle. I think a little bit of wee came out. 

9:28 Main story on Jeremy Kyle “I slept with two men in two weeks…which one of them is the dad?” I would seriously change to an arts degree to watch more of this TV gold.

10:08 Is it bad that I just looked up how to get tickets to be in the audience for Jeremy Kyle?

10:29 Do arts students love Jeremy Kyle so much because it gives them an insight into their future?

10:39 “This material girl had a bit too much material.” Oh Eamonn Holmes, when’s the stand up tour?

11:04 This Morning have a frightening feature on the digestive system at the moment. They’ve illustrated it by drawing on a model.

11:08 Some nice scare-mongering on This Morning for all the hypochondriacs out there. Turns out a tummy ache could mean you have Crohn’s disease…That’s a partly genetic, incurable inflammatory bowel disease.

11:11 I think I’m getting most of these symptoms from my hangover.

11:19 Just walked in on the cleaner and got an earful about how gross we all are, I think I preferred it when I had lectures and would just come home to a passive-aggressive note at the end of the day.

11.47 Are all arts students gastronomers? All the cooking on This Morning is putting the fact that I’ve only eaten cereal for the last 2 days to shame.

12.25 I think some of the wavey English students are getting their style inspiration from Tim Wonnacott from Bargain Hunt.

12.29 When it came to picking an outfit for the day, Joggers seemed like the only appropriate option for an arts student.

12.36 Feeling for my fellow biochemists currently in their metabolism lectures.

12.48 I wonder if all this antiques knowledge will help me scavenge a priceless antique from Wills. Probably not, time to change the channel for a bit of Loose Women I think.

13.02 Does anyone below 40 watch Loose Women? Or are the girls reading English studying for their future careers?

13.05 They’re debating on Loose Women about knock-off designer clothes. Don’t know what the issue is, I only shop at Primani anyway.

13.36 My housemates have come back for lunch and started working. Now I understand the sick pleasure arts students enjoy when observing engineers.

14.03 I’ve been inspired by the work of the chefs on dinner date to cook up my own feast.

@AliceHilborn When we die our minds and souls will be furnished with beauty, you unwholesome rainbow-unweaver! — Charlie Allen (@charlieallen96) February 26, 2015

14.18 My online fan base is beginning to get a bit odd…

14.39 Some arts students think I’m being a bit harsh on them. They’ve still got enough time to tweet me though…

@AliceHilborn just saying, i’m a 1st year drama student and i don’t remember the last time i had a day off, arts students don’t “do nothing” — Mr. Flynn (@kylechrisflynn) February 26, 2015

14.33 Still watching Dinner Date. Is it sad that given my timetable my best chance of getting a date will be to go on this show?

14.49 Whoop! Just got a three on Countdown, clearly it’s a sign I should actually switch to an arts degree

@AliceHilborn do you enjoy being arrogant and ridiculing BA students? I do work on my ‘days off’. Get your head out of your arsehole — Elizabeth (@BethHumphreys) February 26, 2015

15.22 We’re on to Deal or No Deal. My favourite type of game show is definitely one which requires no skill and allows you to always win at least some money.

15.47 My friend who does engineering literally just said “I should’ve become an arts student. I’m incredibly good at bullshtting”

16.07 Back to cookery shows and Come Dine With Me. I think Dave Lamb is my sarcastic hero.

16.21 After ten hours, a mug of tea is required for the final push.

16.25 When this is done I’m celebrating by going back to sleep. And then catching up on all the uni work I should have been doing today instead of this.

16.33 If this experience has taught me anything, it’s that nobody should be subjected to twelve hours of daytime TV ever again.

16.36 Well, that and the fact that although arts students may have less hours at uni, nobody could watch this much TV without wanting to do some work instead! And obviously I know that arts students have lots of reading and essays to do and they take up a lot of time (though thanks for pointing that out to me over and over again on Twitter). There will always be a bit of tension between the science and the arts but in the end very few people are capable of doing both and they’re both equally valuable to society. More so than most of the crap I’ve watched today anyway.

16.38 Anyway, back to the point of this whole live blog…Can I just go on Come Dine With Me for the meals without actually having to cook any food myself?

17.15 Pointless is about to start, legitimately my favourite show on TV. Considering I’m packing this live blog in at six, this might be the greatest end I could have hoped for.

17.28 Country without an I in it? Best I could get was Tuvalu with 1. Honestly, how did I not think of Nauru?

17.41 This round asks contestants to guess a historical figure from one clue and their initials. I need a history friend, who doesn’t hate me after this article, to come on Pointless with me. The only person I’ve known is Florence Nightingale.

18.10 It seems strangely appropriate to be ending my day watching Pointless. A quiz show that celebrates holding the broadest of knowledge. Ultimately, though this article was in jest, it has raised a reaction in many students and I apologise to them if they were offended.

That was and would never be my intention. If this experience has taught me anything it’s that society needs both students from the arts and sciences for politics, the economy and industry to function. We can all learn from one another and a university that celebrates collaboration will be a better place. Everyone works to his or her own standard, some arts students may be lazy but so are many scientists. Your degree does not define your work ethic nor your worth.

Now, time to turn the telly off and never watch any daytime TV again. It’s not been fun.