We went on a ‘pizza crawl’ up Cotham Hill

Four pizzas, three stomachs, no regrets


With The Hill now no longer in existence, millions of Bristol’s students (potentially exaggerating) have been left lost and confused as to where they can satisfy their lunchtime pizza cravings.

Cotham Hill is a honeypot site for ravenous students around lunchtime, and with The Hill gone, The Tab decided to road-test the road’s remaining pizza establishments. Surely one of them can fill the Hill-shaped void in our hearts.

Each establishment was rated on the quality of the pizza, restaurant ambience, and customer service.

We do this so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Dominos

Ol' faithful

Ol’ faithful

Dominos. It’s everyone’s go to pizza after a night out or when the effort of making your own food isn’t worth getting of the couch. But should it be?

It’s true, the taste of Dominos pizza is frankly mouthwatering. The gooey cheese combined with arguably the finest garlic and herb dip known to man makes for happy students.

Just try to look more delicious for me please

Just try to look more delicious for me please

Dominos have a great recipe. And they know it.

Chill out you didn't fucking invent the pizza...

Chill out you didn’t fucking invent the pizza…

Clearly the heavyweights of fast food pizza, Dominos can offer sweet deals and succulent combinations.

The Cotham Hill restaurant, however, is not without its drawbacks. For starters, there’s nowhere to sit.

Admittedly, a big draw of Dominos is that it conveniently comes to you. But what about if you want to go on a romantic date? You can’t sit, or even perch, and there aren’t any romantic candles in sight. Sad times.

The service was also the slowest of the three restaurants we visited. It’s true that good things come to those who wait, but we’re at uni, we’re obviously incredibly busy all the time and don’t have a moment to spare. Shame on you Dominos.

Hardly romantic

Hardly romantic

Dominos obviously has it’s positives, but there are rival outlets just up the Hill…

Tops Pizza

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While not as revered as Dominos, Tops has crafted out a niche among pizza-goers (is that a thing? I’m not sure that’s a thing). With its cheap, personal-sized lunchtime pizzas, Tops is a cracking little alternative.

Yes please, I'll take 6.

Yes please, I’ll take 6.

Unlike Dominos, Tops provides seating, quick service, and it even recycles.

#environment

#environment

I’ll admit, the pizza isn’t Dominos. It’s very stodgy and you feel a bit like you’re eating a pie, but for £2.50 it’s hard to complain.

They even have dip!

They even have dip

Maybe not the best pizza ever

Maybe not the best pizza ever

But it is fundamentally, unquestionably pizza. And that's all that matters.

But it is fundamentally, unquestionably pizza. And that’s all that matters

At this point of the bar crawl, we passed the derelict Hill. A quick tribute to the memories you may or may not have had there.

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:'(

:'(

Planet Pizza

The final stop on our epic voyage was the little-known Planet Pizza.

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It’s extremely different to both Tops and Dominos as it’s more of a sit-down restaurant. With a menu inspired by astronomy and waiters who come and take your order, it has a very different vibe to its competitors.

Who knew our Solar System was so well-endowed with pizza?!

Who knew our Solar System was so well-endowed with pizza?

You should have come here for Valentines

You should have come here for Valentines

The pizza was delicious, with toppings that certainly topped those at Tops (wahey). We had haloumi on ours, which was surprisingly great.

I've died and gone to Naples

I’ve died and gone to Naples

They even brought out some Jelly beans with the bill. Is there anything they can’t do?

Thanks Planet Pizza!

Thanks Planet Pizza

If none of these catch your fancy, there is still one other option: make your own pizza.

Really, it couldn’t be simpler. All you need is flour, yeast, salt and oil for the base, and then lather them with whatever you fancy.

Attention to detail

Attention to detail

Call me chef

Call me chef

It takes about 10 minutes to cook and looked, well, not great.

Yeah...

Yeah…

In short, you should really have no fear over the closure of the Hill. I’m starting to think it may in fact have been the competition that drove it out of business.

The alternatives have every sort of taste covered, and are good. And at the end of the day, pizza is nice, and they serve pizza, and thats nice.