Finding Vino: The world of corner shop wine

The off-licence, the corner shop, the offy – cradle of booze, fags and lottery tickets.

A place where buying a bottle of Glen’s vodka means looking into the eyes of a fellow human being instead of robotically going through the motions with a self-service checkout machine.

We wanted to find out how good their grapes are – three corner shops, three wines, three terrible hangovers.

The 10 ‘o’ Clock Shop

Location: Richmond Street

Opening hours: 7am – 11pm (11pm!)

Wine name: Valdespino – written in swirly type just so you know its foreign (Rosé – Pinot Grigio)                                                                                           

Wine price: £3.25

Alcohol percentage (e.g. how wasted will it get you): 11.5%

The label says “smooth and well balanced”. Not sure about that. There’s an aroma of egg fried rice and a taste of vague fruitiness which you could label as pomegranate if you really tried.

Saying this, it is very drinkable.

Lexies

Location: Park Street

Opening hours: “till midnight”

Wine name: Blackeaf (Merlot)

Wine price: £3.50

Alcohol percentage (e.g. how wasted will it get you): 12.5%

Mmmm the poetically named Blackleaf.

There’s undertones of maybe-I-should-have-just-bought-the-vodka (at least make up a vineyard for the label) and overtones of parsley with a subtle nuttiness.

The bitter after taste could cause grapes of wrath.

Lifestyle Express

Location: Premier Estates (sounds fancy)

Opening hours: ’till late

Wine name: Pinot Gregio (white)                                                                       

Wine price: £3.99

Alcohol percentage (e.g. how wasted will it get you): 11.5%

It tastes like banana and marzipan but it’s not sweet. Go figure.

There’s no acidic kick to make you feel like you’re drinking paint stripper mixed with grape juice so all in all, a grape time.

Plus point: they gave me a plastic bag for this one. That’s got to count for something right?

The Verdict

Basically, if you want to get drunk and have pseudo-philosophical chats then the red (but it could end in a grape depression).

If you want to feel like the flamboyant member of the party and tell everyone about your gap-yah, the rosé, and if you’d just like a glass of wine without any connotations (other than the memory of you drinking it from the bottle once you’ve had a few glasses), the white.

Finally (and this is something to consider after a few glasses of the Blackleaf): why do we call them corner shops when they’re not even on corners most of the time?