Why are Colin Firth and Harry Styles haunting Redland?

We keep seeing Mr Darcy and the shagger from One Direction everywhere


For weeks Redland has been under an onslaught of cardboard horror.

We’ve been told chilling tales of mysterious figures staring blankly from windows.

Something lurks in the darkness, but what?

Vampires? Werewolves? Oddly enough these shady spectres take the form of famous celebs, and in particular Colin Firth and Harry Styles.

Mr Darcy, I presume?

The eerie presence of the boyband singer and rom-com superstar has had a profound effect on the psychological stability of the general public.

William, a second year medic, was on the way back from a night out when he saw Mr Styles peering down at him from a window.

He danced all night to the best song ever

He said: “You see a figure staring at you from out the window, and I physically jumped. It’s funny because it’s something totally non-threatening in reality”.

Harry has become a fixture of the Redland area, with some residents labelling him the “Phantom of Warwick Road.”

While Harry stays stationary, cardboard Colin is known to move around from window to window. We got in contact with the owners of Colin to try and find the truth behind the corrugated paper.

Meg a 2nd year historian said: “Colin was a gift, but we discovered he was bloody terrifying if you placed it in someone’s room without them knowing.

“We had seen Harry Styles in the neighbourhood and thought it would be funny to put him in the window. It’s just great.”

Chilling

Meg’s mates are less convinced though. Hannah, a 2nd year medic feels Colin is one of the primary sources of stress and strain in her life.

She said: “I’m now afraid of opening my own door in case he’s there, waiting for me”.

How long will these two-dimensional sceptres continue to haunt the innocent citizens of Bristol? Only time will tell.