Top employers think Bristol is fire

They obviously haven’t had to study here. 

The ASS Library – incubating the corporate scumbags of the future

Everyone’s doing exams at the moment. Nobody (apart from actual psychopaths) likes exams, especially exams that require trekking all the way to Coombe Dingle, or to that football stadium, or to that shed by the fucking train station.

But everything is going to be ok. Just look at this chart here:

Proof that you’re not actually as fucked as you thought you were

Do you know what this chart means?

Bristol is the seventh most targeted university for big companies, beating the likes of Sheffield and Glasgow into other, lower places on the same chart.

It means that top employers like Morgan Stanley, Tesco and BAE Systems want you to become a soulless corporate droid working 18-hour days before you eventually retire and die.

Who cares about teaching standards, class sizes, student satisfaction scores, availability of study spaces or having a proper end of year ball for once when this time next year you could be working for ExxonMobil?

If that thought doesn’t clear away the January exam blues nothing will. You’re welcome.