I did a Sainsbury’s Basics Christmas Dinner

And I’m still alive


It’s the holiday season, and most students are heading home to their families who will provide them with a tasty Christmas meal.

Some of you however, may find yourself still at uni this winter.

If that happens to be the case, then don’t worry, the Sainsbury’s Basics range has a load of festive food available at puny prices to give you a less-than-basic Xmas meal.

How I've missed you my orange friends

Now, when I lived off Sainsbury’s Basics for a week earlier in the term, I was called many things: a “bloody buffoon”, a “cunt”.

I was told I couldn’t “cook for shit”. Charming.

Today I attempt to prove to my critics that I do actually know my way around a kitchen.

As we already discovered, the Sainbury’s Basics range has a load of low-price alternatives to branded items. Their Christmas selection is the same. First though, lets start with the basics (sorry).

Every good Christmas dinner I’m told, requires a hearty meat selection. The Basics range have that covered, with a £6.50 whole chicken (I don’t even want to begin to think about what this chicken’s life must have been like), Basics sausages, and Basics cooking bacon.

I wrapped the sausages in bacon to create Basics Pigs-in-Blankets, and they were fucking great.

Christ there was a lot of blood...

Looked good in the end though

Put these together and you get...

Some very snug looking pigs!

Next onto the sides. Sainsbury’s have some lovely parsnips, ready to be cut and roasted, and their own stuffing that can be made in about two minutes. They also have stock to make some tasty gravy.

Tasty and good for you!

Yes please

A word of caution and it concerns the Basic’s range of tinned goods. Avoid them. The potatoes in a can were not suitable for roasting, so had to be turned into mash. However much butter you add, you cannot remove the taste of brine.

Needless to say I was the only member of my house to tuck in. The tinned peas are also a bit of a disaster, and didn’t have the sort of effect that I was expecting out of my greens (unless you’re a 10-year-old thoroughly repulsed by any sort of healthy food). They were grim.

They do not look like potatoes

Had I not been holding it, it still wouldn't have moved

All put together, the meal looked, and tasted, fantastic. A fitting meal for a fitting occasion. Christ himself would have been chuffed.

Just go ahead and give me my fucking michelin star already

I know what you’re thinking though. Where are the flamboyant Christmas desserts? Sainsbury’s didn’t disappoint here either.

While there were no mince pies, there were Basics “Mince Puffs”, which are arguably nicer. There was also a Basics Christmas Pudding, which was supposedly only one serving, and turned out to be only because no one else in my house would really touch it. It wasn’t too bad though.

Very puffy

Sadly Basics Vodka isn't overly flammable. Still deadly mind you...

I'll eat this all day

The meal, as expected, was extremely cheap. It cost around £12, and over half was spent on the chicken. It also provided food for my house for the next day. I’m reliably told that a stuffing-chicken-gravy and pig-in-blanket sandwich is second to none.

Should fill you up

So overall, I would highly recommend a Basics Christmas this year. Cheap, tasty, and easy to make.


Merry Christmas everyone.