These two freshers took MD for the first time and went to the gym

Gurn while you burn (calories)


Have you ever gone to Lakota, taken MDMA for the first time, stole a builder’s hat, climbed up scaffolding, scared the neighbours, and then immediately went to the gym straight after?

We guessed not. These kids have though.

They are so Bristol.

Meet James and Sarah, two Hiatt Baker freshers who decided a night out at trendy drug-den-chic Lakota was the perfect time to meet Mandy for the first time.

Then, after a hard night clubbing they gurned their way to the gym due to an inexplicable urge to do some weights.

They were already eighty quid deep into what was shaping up to be a classic night when they innocently dropped their first ever bombs.

“From then until about five in the morning, the night was a bit of a blur,” said Susie.

“Next thing we knew, we were climbing scaffolding of a building somewhere in Clifton, and had a builder’s hard hat on for some reason.”

This is how blurry the night was

Realising, they were feeling the gurn but not the burn on those important abdominal muscles, it was then that they were suddenly hit with a strange urge to head to campus for a workout session.

Jack said: “I really wanted to bench. I’m not sure why now, but there was this weird desire to just…bench”.

Unfortunately, the gym was locked when they got there but they were undeterred.

“We ended up having a good snooze by the gym, only to be woken up by a cleaner who’d been inside, hoover in hand.

“The cleaner was fucking scared. We started knocking on the door, but for some reason she hid from us and refused to let us in.”

We’re guessing that might have been because they looked like this.

Eventually, they got the workout their crazy high demanded, with Susie spotting Jack while he submitted to a substance-induced workout.

“Afterwards, we both ruined it on the treadmill.”