Jailbreak 2014: Liveblog

It’s that time of year again, when a bunch of people in fancy dress try to hitch a ride away from Bristol in the name of charity.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not one of the many using a charitable cause this weekend as an excuse for a free holiday, but that doesn’t mean you should miss out on all the excitement.

We’ll be live-blogging how all the teams get on over the whole weekend, so keep checking back for live updates. And if you’re feeling really generous, you could donate too.

[iframe src=”http://studentjailbreak.co.uk/bristol/map” style=”border:0px #FFFFFF none;” name=”myiFrame” scrolling=”no” frameborder=”1″ marginheight=”600px” marginwidth=”0px” height=”400px” ]
Map provided by Student Jailbreak

 

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9.20pm

That’s it for now, but don’t forget there’s another Jailbreak next term. We’ll leave you with some tweets from our personal favourites, At the End of the Day, I Don’t Know You Know, which demonstrate the lows and highs that come from trying to get round the world without paying a penny.

@TheTabBristol this is us getting taken out of the ferry port in Dover by the police… They weren’t happy pic.twitter.com/Lczfun1AxX

— Rachel Knowles (@RachelKnowles11) October 26, 2014

@Will_Lloyd_ we’re team 15 from jailbreak, currently enjoying a litre of beer and very large German sausages pic.twitter.com/NKdmo2GjL6

— Rachel Knowles (@RachelKnowles11) October 26, 2014

Until next time guys. Thanks for reading.

9.18pm

Finally, the winners!

Dora and Nora the Explorers (Teresa Ingram and Kat Browne) are a unicorn that wanted to reach Rainbowland and somehow they’ve managed it. If Rainbowland is actually Prague that is. They even had time for a stop-off in Luxembourg. Worthy champions. Distance: 1,205.4km

9.15pm

Second place, and narrowly missing out, it’s…

Chipati Basmati (Max Roche, Rory Macpherson and Anna Lyons) spent much of the weekend under the radar, but ended up making it as far as Salzburg, Austria, helped on their way by a 300km ice train towards Munich at one point. Distance: 1,195.4km

9.12pm

Third place, and the bronze medal goes to…

Bitchhiking (Stephen Le Fanu, Jack Diss and Beth Albuery). They were convinced they were going to win, but reaching Stubice, Poland hasn’t been enough. At least they got to eat some goulash. Distance: 1,178.8km

9.10pm

Fourth place:

Paris and Nicole (Anna Fleck and Dominic Walker) didn’t end up in Paris, but instead made it all the way to the equally sexy Barcelona. They got to travel in a Mercedes for part of their journey, proving hitch-hiking can be glamorous. Distance: 1,177.1km

9.07pm

In fifth place:

Los Nachos Hermanos (Ignacio Perez de Bartolome and Ignacio Hernandez Arroyo). Our Mexican friends made it as far as Milan and temporarily held the lead. They got in some good sightseeing though, proving it’s not all about the win. Distance: 1,092.9km

9.05pm

Six teams have made it over 1,000km from Bristol, but only one can be Jailbreak champion. In sixth place…

At the End of the Day, I Don’t Know You Know (Jacob Powell and Rachel Knowles) looked like winning it at one point, but couldn’t get further than Munich. Their last update: “Enjoying a massive beer in augustine beerkeller. Rachel’s eyeing up a rather large German sausage. Hope she can keep it down x” Distance: 1,080.9km

9pm

It’s finished! Time for a full run-down of the leaderboard. Starting at the bottom:

The Nepalese Ninjas (Michael Campbell and Emily Gwinnell) haven’t made it past London after an unsuccessful venture at Heathrow. 172.1km travelled.

The Tale of Ezekiel & Pea (Eduardo Chavez-Heredia and Charlie Harrison) have done a mini tour of England, stopping at Birmingham, Derby, Leeds, Manchester, and York. That last stop gave them their furthest distance of the day 296.5km.

We’ll Let You Know By Email (Ryan Lucidi and Kyle Reed) made it all the way to Adenkerke, Belgium but that’s still only 365km from where they started. Last we heard they were trying to reach Brussels.

Brizzle Kicks and Hilly Willy have both made it as far as Paris, 456.4km. Both teams took the Dover-Calais route to France, and Brizzle Kicks took a brief diversion to Lille on their way to the French capital. Lovely stuff.

Stop the Traffik (Elizabeth Toole, Naomi Kendal and Matthew Fewtrell) managed a 489.9km trip to Brussels. It’s not the most amazing city in Europe, but they got to meet a Belgian DJ en route so it’s hardly a wasted journey.

Treeus on Tour (Imogen Allan, Laura Jennings and Thomas Brown) did what plenty of teams wanted to and made it to Amsterdam, though their furthest point of travel has been Venray, also in the Netherlands, and 593.8km from home. They’re back in ‘Dam now though, “eating pizza” apparently.

Billy Bathtub and the Flannellettes (Hari Sood, Ben Jansen and Tim Thornemade) it all the way to Aachen, Germany, a distance of 611km. I once went there on a school trip. Their last update: “Drunk and have some curry wurst. Billy Bathtub out.” Well done chaps.

Crusty Jugglers (Felix Kennedy and Marc-Anthony Hurr) haven’t left the UK but by making John O’Groats their destination they’ve beaten many others. Distance from Bristol: 798.7km. They’re currently eating a Haggis Tower, whatever that is, and having “a John O’Great time”. And people say our puns are bad.

Deerhurst Sk8 Team (Joshua Evans and Mia Thomas) and The Fiery Fist-Pumpers (Ruth Byrne and Louis Wilson) both made it as far as Chambery, France: 906.1km away. Coincidentally they’ve both ended up in Geneva now, though that’s actually closer to home.

Sushi Samba (Victor Siqueira and Eldo Chandra) are in Bilbao as mentioned earlier. A distance of 910.9km just puts them ahead of the Chambery teams.

Scotify (Angus Mackintosh and Patrick Heaton-Armstrong) have narrowly missed out on the 1,000km milestone, making it as far as Nuremburg, Germany, 992.3km away.

Coming up, the teams that made it over 1,000km…

8.40pm

We have a new leader! Dora and Nora the Explorers have made it to Prague, 1,205.4km from home. Can anyone make it further than them in the last 20 minutes?

“Finally arrive in Rainbowland! And it’s crackin’!”

8.10pm

From Sushi Samba: “End of journey. Lovely gentlemen offered us a room in a hotel. Going to shower and have dinner with them. Talk about fairy tale ending.”

That sounds like a very odd fairy tale. They’re in Bilbao by the way.

8pm

One hour to go, and it seems most teams have either started drinking or heading back home. Is anyone going to make a late bid to make it further from home than an unknown corner of Poland?

Los Nachos Hermanos have weighed in to tell us off for calling them Mexican when they’re actually Spanish. In our defence, you have named yourselves after a Mexican snack, and a fictional chicken restaurant run by a Venezuelan.

If it’s any consolation for us getting your nationality wrong, you’re at least set to finish 3rd. Hope the flight back from Italy goes well!

7.05pm

Fuck me, it’s getting tense. Less than two hours to go now and it couldn’t be tighter at the top. Los Nachos Hermanos (see 4.50pm) may have hoped Milan would be far enough away to beat the rest, but they’ve been outdone by several teams.

Our new leaders are the ultra-competitive Bitchhiking, who’ve made it to Mierzyn in Poland, a whopping 1,173.7km from Bristol.

Think you’d like to visit Mierzyn too at some point? Well, you can. There is going to be another Jailbreak next term, so make sure you apply.

7pm

Sushi Samba are heading to Bilbao! They’re getting a lift there with “two amazing men”, not a bad feat considering they’ve spent most of today in France.

Talking of France, Hilly Willy are sat in a train station in Paris. Are they going somewhere else, or heading home? We’ll have to wait and see.

6.30pm

Exciting news from Billy Bathtub and the Flannellettes (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say). They might (repeat, might) be on their way to Germany. Not long to go though, and they’ve got to get all the way from Bilzen in Belgium.

6.20pm

For some reason, Crusty Jugglers are heading to John O’Groats. Guys, the idea is to get as far away as possible. Scotland doesn’t count. Especially as they’re still part of the UK.

6.15pm

Brizzle Kicks have made it to Lille. They’re not going to reach their initial planned destination of Istanbul or Budapest but France isn’t the worst place to spend a Sunday night.

6.00pm

It’s happened. “At the end of the day, I don’t know you know” are in Munich, looking for the beer festival apparently.

Frustratingly for them, they’re still 12km shy of the distance record set by Los Nachos Hermanos. Will they move any further from Bristol in the next few hours?

4.50pm

Everything finishes at 9pm today so our teams have just over four hours to get as far away from Bristol as possible.

At the moment, Los Nachos Hermanos are the only team to pass the 1,000km mark: they’re in Milan. It doesn’t seem they’re planning on travelling any further though, so still a chance for one of the other teams to beat them.

Team “At the end of the day, I don’t know you know” seem best placed to take the crown off their Mexican brothers-in-arms. They’re on their way to Munich from Nuremburg.

Will anyone manage to leave Europe? Previous years have seen people reach America and even Australia but it seems unlikely this time round.

One team that don’t seem to stand a chance of making it out of the continent: The Nepalese Ninjas. Michael and Emily haven’t reported getting any further than London. Poor effort guys.

3.25pm

We asked Bristol mayor George ‘red trousers’ Ferguson over Twitter to give the jailbreakers some advice and, he, errr, came up with this insightful tidbit:

@GeorgeFergusonx safe boss

— The Tab Bristol (@TheTabBristol) October 26, 2014

 

3.00pm

Here’s your roundup of where the teams are right now:

• Dora and Nora’s unicorn has made it deep into Bavaria.
• Scotify left their bong behind in Amsterdam and are now enjoying the sights and sounds of Konigsforst. 
• Ultra competitive Team Bitchhiking are in Frankfurt and heading for Berlin.
• The Crusty Jugglers have gone all the way to Inverness (why?) where they’re being held up by a severe weather warning. Does Scotland ever have non severe weather? It’s just shite all the time up there isn’t it?
• Paris and Nicole are somewhere in France watching the Hunger Games. I will never ever understand why J-Law marries that pussy blonde kid in the last book. Ooops, that’s a spoiler.
• Los Nachos Hermanos have gone all tasteful on us and made it to Milan. They’re enjoying a sweet view from the top of the Duomo Cathedral, the swines. 

Day 2

9.00pm

As Day One draws to a frantic close here’s a summary of what’s happened so far:

• The current leaders are Scotify – two guys in kilts who aren’t wearing pants. They’re heading to Amsterdam.
• Team Paris and Nicole (That’s a The Simple Life reference right?) have rocked up in Paris. Don’t tell them it’s the most overrated city in the world (I haven’t actually been there but w/e).
• Sushi Samba, despite a distinct lack of either sushi or samba, are heading to Nantes with a French family. Have they been adopted or something?
• The two guys dressed as Jesus and Charles Darwin are heading north, to the ancient city of York, beyond the wall where the wildlings are said to roam. #YouKnowNothingJohnSnow. Please don’t freeze to death lads.
• We’ve yet to establish whether Danny Dyer has ever dressed up as a unicorn but we do know he thinks Postman Pat is a “busy cunt”.

Come back tomorrow when a pair of extremely knackered pyjama wearers will be crowned Jailbreak champions. Here’s a video of Sherlock Holmes being sexy:

7.00pm

He hasn’t replied yet…

Hey @MrDDyer have you ever dressed up as a unicorn?

— The Tab Bristol (@TheTabBristol) October 25, 2014

 5.45pm

Jailbreak is organised by the lovely people at Bristol RAG. You can find out more about RAG here. I can’t decide whether the RAG mascot is cute or utterly fear-inducing:

 

5.15pm

RANDOM NON-JAILBREAK INTERLUDE BROUGHT TO YOU BY DANNY DYER

We love a bit of Danny Dyer here at Tab towers. He never stops mouthing off about people, even fictional people like Postman Pat. Danny Dyer doesn’t think much of is Postman Pat, whom he described on TV as “a busy cunt”. If that doesn’t make you smile then you’re probably not human. Or you don’t know who Danny Dyer is which even worse than not being human.

Here’s six minutes of our Danny being beaten up by a cockney bouncer:

4.45pm

It’s not an exaggeration to say that 50% of the teams The Tab spoke to this morning wanted to end up in Amsterdam. Why would that be?

4.00pm

Some people are taking jailbreak really seriously this year – especially the ultra-competitive and terrifyingly named Bitchhiking. Team captain Beth Albuery told The Tab, “we’re in this to win this, I mean, we’re really not fucking around this year.” She claimed that an “intensive training” (how do you train at hitchhiking???) regime would be key to Bitchhiking’s victory.

3.30pm

The punningly named Brizzle Kicks have made it to heathrow airport, where they’re hoping to get a plane to either Istanbul or Budapest…

2.15pm

If I did Jailbreak I reckon I’d be a lot like this:

2.00pm

DRAMATIC BOAT BASED BREAKING NEWS – Team Sushi Samba have made it all the way to Guernsey in the Channel Islands. Sushi Samba look like this:

1.20pm

We tried to reach former UBU President and all round nutter Rob Griffiths for comment on Twitter but so far he hasn’t replied. Sad face.

Yo @robj_griffiths do you have any pearls of wisdom for the #bristoljailbreak teams today?

— The Tab Bristol (@TheTabBristol) October 25, 2014

1.00pm

By far and away the craziest team out there today are Dora and Nora the explorers. Asked what their strategy for the weekend is, they replied “we want to spread love, glitter and feathers”. Riiiiiiight. They don’t actually even want to go to a European destination – their plan is to head to “Rainbowland”. Oh, and did I mention they’ve dressed up as a fucking unicorn?

12.00pm

Team Ezekiel and Pea decided to dress up as Jesus and Charles Darwin. Jesus had a sensible reason for dressing up as Jesus: “Everyone tells me I look like Jesus”. Fair. Despite having the son of God on his Darwin is a bit worried about their prospects: “I feel like between us we could alienate everyone”. They’re currently in Birmingham.

11.30am

Early leaders Scotify are dreaming of making it to Barcelona – although one of them is concerned that not wearing any pants underneath their kilts could harm their hitchhiking prospects. You can follow their underwearless journey on twitter here.

9.00am

They’re off! The teams have left Bristol! Before they leave event organizer Tom Strain warns the group to avoid Russia and Ukraine. “I wouldn’t go to West Africa either” pipes up a security guard standing at the reception – #ebolabantz.