Hero warden makes sure freshers aren’t buying bad MD

‘Don’t buy any drugs from the man outside Basement 45’


It’s the responsibility of every hall’s warden to look out for their students, but one has gone above and beyond the call of duty – by advising freshers where NOT to buy their drugs.

With a dodgy drug dealer currently passing off an unknown toxic substance as MDMA, Pru Lawrence-Archer – Head of Accommodation Services, Warden of Unite House, and general keeper of the peace – took the unusual step of telling fresh-faced first-years which man to avoid.

Pru said: “Don’t buy any drugs from the man outside Basement 45.

“What he’s selling as MDMA is not MDMA and we’ve already had three students from Unite in hospital.”

Bent & B45

Bent is in no way involved in this incident

Having realised these words could be seen as an endorsement of taking illegal drugs, she hastily added: “I mean, don’t buy drugs at all, but definitely don’t buy them from the man outside that club.”

Her statement comes shortly after news broke that at least three students have been taken to hospital as a result of the same dealer.

Many have been unhappy to learn one dealer is ruining it for the rest of us.

One Ancient History student who wished to go by the alias Mandy Gurninson told us: “How am I supposed to go to Motion and drop half a gram now?

“It’s just not safe out there anymore, the scene’s just full of dickheads now, you know?”

To help people like Mandy know where to buy their drugs, The Tab has put together this helpful map.

‘I mean, don’t buy drugs at all…’