Second years look back at how messy their Freshers Week was

Don’t worry newbies, the older kids were just as rubbish at handling their drink last year

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Freshers Week is an exciting whirlwind of alcohol and games of Never Have I Ever and Jason Donervan feasts at 3am. But the bits nobody tells you about are the endless awkward introductions, and horrifically embarrassing drunken moments you wish had never happened.

I came to uni a year ago, and to this day my first night of Freshers is a complete blank past 9pm. Apparently I was carried to the queue of the club.

No one knows how I got home, or how I ended up passed out in a Hiatt Baker corridor when I was meant to be living on the other side of Stoke Bishop.

As if that wasn’t enough, when I finally got back to my halls, I tried to get into what I thought was my room, but in fact my room’s equivalent in the block next door.

I’m not always such a mess, honest

Luckily (for me) the girl in that room had stayed in due to illness, so opened the door after all my racket, allowing me to run in and be sick in her bin for the next half an hour before security was called.

Not only did I embarrass myself in front of potential friends, I also lost my ID and had to stay in for the next two nights and miss the Freshers Ball while waiting for my passport to arrive in Bristol.

Thankfully, I’m not the only second year with regrets from their first week at uni.

Katie told us how she let her drunkenness lower her standards. On one of the her first nights as a fresher, she took a fancy to a guy who asked her to stand up so he could see if she was skinny, and told her they were compatible because they had “matching spots on their foreheads”.

Cute.

Yet it worked?! “I definitely won’t be wearing those beer goggles this year!” she says.

“Oh and I’ll be undressing and taking all my makeup off after every night out as well. Not a good look the next morning, and saves people taking embarrassing photos of you!”

How she looked in the morning

Chris was in Wills Hall and similarly regrets a “romantic” encounter.

“After going back with a girl I slammed my thumb in a door hinge and lost my nail. I didn’t feel any pain because I was too drunk.

“Big problem was that my bleeding thumb ruined my chances with the girl whose halls I’d gone back to.

“As for doing things differently this year, I’m working at a bar, so I just hope to facilitate some regrets of the new freshers.”

Zoe from Churchill says she regretted getting too into the Freshers themes. “One of the nights was ‘Anything But Clothes’ so we got all dressed up in binbags and postal tape…we arrived at the busy bar and turns out no one in the whole hall had dressed up.

Rockin’ that bin bag chic

“One guy came over and told us he knew we had dresses underneath so we weren’t wearing ‘anything but clothes’, and thought it was best we changed to save our embarrassment. Mortifying!”

Another fresher, who understandably wanted to remain anonymous, was traumatised after her first subject social with second year “parents”.

She was completely terrified to receive a message from her “dads” demanding her to bring a bottle of wine, packet of gum, a condom, a chocolate bar, two cigarettes and to learn a chorus from a musical under threat of serious forfeit for failing to do so.

She turned up having spent money on the items and days learning the song to discover it was all a joke.

Having not eaten anything before out of nerves for what she had to do, she proceeded to drink everything she could see, get absolutely wasted and not make it to Po Na Na later on, let alone the club after.

Max’s biggest regret was an infamous night in Lakota his stomach couldn’t handle. Having had too many “disco biscuits”, he ended up projectile vomiting all over the club, drenching the dancefloor and the stairs.

Max really liked those disco biscuits

“I left the club straight after because I was worried a casual organ was going to come up with the violence of the vom. I also remember wiping my sick-drenched arm on a random hippy with fairy lights intertwined in his dreadlocks.

“I think he then tried to hug me… makes my stomach churn at the thought.” Ours too.

“This year I am going to give Lakota a miss in case anyone recognises me. And should probably limit my disco biscuit consumption.”

Chunder shower anyone?

The guy above told us he’s going to ease off on sports nights this coming year. He regrets going too hard on the first one, resulting in his night ending like this.

Apparently, his logic was that if he vomited in the shower and got it all over his clothes, it wouldn’t matter because he’d already be clean. Very clever.

Finally, a regret that everyone has from freshers – the dreaded club photo. For some reason, when we’re drunk we think we’re models and look fabulous. We don’t.

Coming to a catwalk near you

Instead, we wake up looking like this.

‘I want the whole world to be my bed’

What’s the worst thing you did this Freshers Week?