Yet another league table ‘proves’ Bristol is just the worst

If you just got to Bristol, we strongly suggest you go back right now. Because apparently, everyone hates us.

The Times ranked us a shocking 19^th in the country – below Surrey, Lancaster, East Anglia and Southampton.

This failed to seduce The Times

Everyone knows you can’t take league tables seriously, but this year we’ve been ranked 18^th by the Complete University Guide and a miserable 34^th place by The Guardian. This is getting ridiculous.

It’s really obvious why everyone thinks we’re shit. Bristol ranks a horrific 84^th place in the Student Satisfaction category.

But The Times thinks we’re to blame for that too – they say: “The student satisfaction scores continue to cause the university to lag well behind. Bristol students are clearly a hard lot to please.”

And they wonder why student satisfaction is low

The formerly reputable newspaper also took the time out to tell us that most of us are Made In Chelsea material – and not in a good way. They say we’ve got more private schooled toffs than Cambridge. At 41%, it’s the third-highest proportion in the UK (behind Oxford and Edinburgh).

And we spent £15 million trying to get more working class students in over the last 8 years, but instead got 5% more private school kids in.

The Times thinks we’re all Made In Chelsea material