Robsession: a President’s diary

6:45 A.M.

My name is Rob Griffiths. Ever since I was a child I have found it hard to sleep. Thankfully I find it easy to wake to the sound of sweet, sweet birdsong, so it’s swings and roundabouts really.

This morning I sent a few soft chirping notes of my own out into darkness to thank our avian friends for the inspiration they give me. I’d like to think that hearing this may have pleasantly surprised them.

7:20 A.M.

I believe in taking care of myself, enjoying a balanced diet and an attentive exercise routine. I do abdominal exercises (some people call them crunches apparently) on my yoga mat in the front room. I can do over fifty now.

7:45 A.M.

My shower regime is straightforward. I use a steam activated gel cleanser, then a lemon and orange body scrub and some exfoliating lotion on the face.

I’m careful to use an aftershave with no alcohol content, because alcohol dries the skin out and makes you look older. A final rub of moisturiser ensures a supple, boyish gleam clings to my skin.

Oh, yes.

8:30 A.M.

Before leaving for work I like to read from an inspirational text. This week I am reading Tony Blair’s ‘A Journey’. Here is an excerpt that I really like:

“Sometimes I marvelled at the way I did indeed step forward, but more often I was aware of the constant struggle to make the choice to do so.”

Tony was a man of destiny. I can really respect and empathise with that.

9:30 A.M. – 12:45 P.M.

A good morning’s work. A proper googling session. Nice to see that if you type in ‘Rob Griffiths’ the first word Google suggests next is ‘Bristol’. I have definitely made an impact.

I also sent an email to Webster’s Dictionaries asking if they’d like to use my definition of a students’ union. 

1:45 P.M.

The office has gone out for lunch. Not sure where though.

I popped to Sainsbury’s for a meal deal: a ham and cheddar sandwich, ready salted walkers crisps and a bottle of mineral water. All my favourites for just £3.00. I think that’s great value.

The woman at the till asked if I’d like any cashback but I politely declined her offer. Not much to spend it on.

2:05 P.M.

Drafting another definition of a students’ union. Pretty challenging. This one is definitely more coherent so I have sent it to the folks at Webster because I still haven’t heard anything from them about the first one.

3:05 P.M.

Still no reply from Webster. They must have a problem with their internet connection.

3:30 – 4:45 P.M.

I like to refresh my Twitter interactions in the afternoon. Sometimes students send me tweets with queries and problems. Nothing today though.

5:00 P.M.

Before I left work, I asked my secretary Danielle if I had any more interest from national newspapers after my article for the Daily Telegraph a few months ago was so well-received. She said she hadn’t heard anything. Surely just a matter of time?

7:30 P.M.

Mum called. We had a nice chat. She asked if I had a girlfriend but I politely declined to answer with a negative or an affirmative.

8:45 P.M.

No word from Webster. Quite surprised.

9:50 P.M.

Trying to sleep but the next door neighbors are having a party. I think the guys who live in the basement flat are having some kind of party as well. Safe to say that what they’re getting up to is not my idea of fun.

Bloody students.